Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Too much of everything is just enough.

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

A man's house is his castle.

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Beggars should be no choosers.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.