XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Nice guys finish last.

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

"They make a desert and call it peace."

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job is to enforce the law and fight crime.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.

You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

All art is but imitation of nature.

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

You can't play your friends like marks, kid.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.

One good turn deserves another.

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

To defend the Saigon regime is not worth one more human life.

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

We're only in it for the volume.

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"