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The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Ambrose St.


Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Ambrose Bierce


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Ambrose Bierce


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Ambrose Bierce


The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Ambrose Bierce


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ambrose Bierce


It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Ambrose Bierce


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Bierce Ambrose


April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Bierce Ambrose


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Bierce Ambrose


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Bierce Ambrose


No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Bierce Ambrose


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Bierce Ambrose


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Bierce Ambrose


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Bierce Ambrose


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Bierce Ambrose


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Bierce Ambrose





Random Quote


Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and
Cam Kurt Vonnegut

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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