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There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Ambrose St.


Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Ambrose Bierce


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Ambrose Bierce


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Ambrose Bierce


The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Ambrose Bierce


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Ambrose Bierce


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Ambrose Bierce


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Bierce Ambrose


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Bierce Ambrose


Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Bierce Ambrose


He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Bierce Ambrose


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Bierce Ambrose


Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Bierce Ambrose


One good turn asketh another.

Bierce Ambrose


The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

Bierce Ambrose


No two persons ever read the same book.

Bierce Ambrose


We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and when he dies we give

Bierce Ambrose





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"The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to ________preserve disorder."
Daley Mayor

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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