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"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Ambrose St.


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Ambrose Bierce


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Ambrose Bierce


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Ambrose Bierce


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Ambrose Bierce


This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

Ambrose Bierce


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Ambrose Bierce


I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

Bierce Ambrose


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Bierce Ambrose


The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Bierce Ambrose


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Bierce Ambrose


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Bierce Ambrose


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Bierce Ambrose


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Bierce Ambrose


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Bierce Ambrose


A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Bierce Ambrose


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Bierce Ambrose





Random Quote


BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...
Bob Cary Grant

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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