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We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Ambrose St.


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Ambrose Bierce


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Ambrose Bierce


Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

Ambrose Bierce


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Ambrose Bierce


Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

Ambrose Bierce


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Ambrose Bierce


Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Bierce Ambrose


"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Bierce Ambrose


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Bierce Ambrose


Never trust an automatic pistol or a D.A.'s deal.

Bierce Ambrose


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Bierce Ambrose


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Bierce Ambrose


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Bierce Ambrose


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Bierce Ambrose


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Bierce Ambrose


Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Bierce Ambrose





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At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.
Lumsden Marshall

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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