Imagine what we can imagine!

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

In the long run we are all dead.