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The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Ba Dave


When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Barry Dave


We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Barry Dave


Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Barry Dave


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Barry Dave


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Barry Dave


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Barry Dave


It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

Barry Dave


My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Barry Dave


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Barry Dave


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Barry Dave


Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

Barry Dave


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Barry Dave


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Barry Dave


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Barry Dave


Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Barry Dave


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Barry Dave


The language of politics is poetry, not prose. Jackson is poetry. Cuomo is poetry. Dukakis is a word processor.

Barry Dave


It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

Barry Dave


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Barry Dave


Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Barry Dave


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Barry Dave


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Barry Dave


The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Barry Dave


Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Barry Dave


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Barry Dave


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Barry Dave


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Barry Dave


I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...

Barry Dave


"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"

Barry Dave


Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Barry Dave


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Barry Dave


We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Barry Dave


If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Barry Dave


I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

Barry Dave


Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Barry Dave


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Barry Dave


If you don't have a nasty obituary you probably didn't matter.

Barry Dave


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Barry Dave


I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.

Barry Dave


Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Barry Dave


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Barry Dave


My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

Barry Dave


Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

Barry Dave


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Barry Dave


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Barry Dave


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Barry Dave


All art is but imitation of nature.

Barry Dave


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Butler Dave


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Dave


It is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will have a high-level meeting.

Dave Barry


To use violence is to already be defeated.

Johnson Dave


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Millman Dave


There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.

Parnas Dave


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Thomas Dave


Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

de Dave Johnson on





Random Quote


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.
Chaplin Charlie

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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