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A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Ba Dave


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Barry Dave


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Barry Dave


Knowledge is power.

Barry Dave


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Barry Dave


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Barry Dave


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Barry Dave


A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Barry Dave


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Barry Dave


Nothing endures but change.

Barry Dave


How should they answer?

Barry Dave


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Barry Dave


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Barry Dave


Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Barry Dave


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Barry Dave


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Barry Dave


If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Barry Dave


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Barry Dave


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Barry Dave


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Barry Dave


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Barry Dave


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Barry Dave


All phone calls are obscene.

Barry Dave


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Barry Dave


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Barry Dave


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Barry Dave


Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Barry Dave


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Barry Dave


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Barry Dave


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Barry Dave


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Barry Dave


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Barry Dave


Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Barry Dave


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Barry Dave


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Barry Dave


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Barry Dave


"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Barry Dave


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Barry Dave


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Barry Dave


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Barry Dave


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Barry Dave


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Barry Dave


Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Barry Dave


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Barry Dave


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Barry Dave


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Barry Dave


God help those who do not help themselves.

Barry Dave


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Barry Dave


You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Barry Dave


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Barry Dave


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Butler Dave


Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Dave


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Dave Barry


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Johnson Dave


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Millman Dave


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Parnas Dave


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Thomas Dave


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

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That must be wonderful: I don't understand it at all.
Moliere

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