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From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Ba Dave


This generation doesn't have emotional baggage. We have emotional moving vans.

Barry Dave


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Barry Dave


The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.

Barry Dave


We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Barry Dave


The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Barry Dave


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Barry Dave


What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Barry Dave


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Barry Dave


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Barry Dave


The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Barry Dave


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Barry Dave


I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Barry Dave


Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Barry Dave


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Barry Dave


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Barry Dave


Many hands make light work.

Barry Dave


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Barry Dave


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Barry Dave


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Barry Dave


As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Barry Dave


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Barry Dave


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Barry Dave


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Barry Dave


English literature's performing flea.

Barry Dave


Barry Dave


You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower, start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.

Barry Dave


One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Barry Dave


Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Barry Dave


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Barry Dave


To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Barry Dave


October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Barry Dave


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Barry Dave


Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author

Barry Dave


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Barry Dave


As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Barry Dave


Nothing succeeds like success.

Barry Dave


One good turn asketh another.

Barry Dave


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

Barry Dave


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Barry Dave


When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Barry Dave


In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Barry Dave


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Barry Dave


"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Barry Dave


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Barry Dave


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Barry Dave


He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Barry Dave


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Barry Dave


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Butler Dave


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Dave


What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Dave Barry


Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.

Johnson Dave


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Millman Dave


What is involved in such [close] relationships is a form of emotional chemistry, so far unexplained by any school of psychiatry I am aware of, that conditions nothing so simple as a choice between the poles of attraction and repulsion. You can meet

Parnas Dave


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Thomas Dave


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

de Dave Johnson on





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Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
Hazlitt William

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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