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When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Ba Dave


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Barry Dave


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Barry Dave


What one fool can do, another can.

Barry Dave


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Barry Dave


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Barry Dave


There's no justice in this world.

Barry Dave


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Barry Dave


There is no fool to the old fool.

Barry Dave


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Barry Dave


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Barry Dave


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Barry Dave


For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Barry Dave


The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Barry Dave


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Barry Dave


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Barry Dave


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Barry Dave


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Barry Dave


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Barry Dave


Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Barry Dave


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Barry Dave


To have died once is enough.

Barry Dave


Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Barry Dave


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Barry Dave


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Barry Dave


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Barry Dave


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Barry Dave


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Barry Dave


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Barry Dave


Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Barry Dave


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Barry Dave


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Barry Dave


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Barry Dave


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Barry Dave


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Barry Dave


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Barry Dave


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Barry Dave


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Barry Dave


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Barry Dave


In the long run we are all dead.

Barry Dave


Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Barry Dave


There is no sin but ignorance.

Barry Dave


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Barry Dave


No good deed goes unpunished.

Barry Dave


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Barry Dave


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Barry Dave


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Barry Dave


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Barry Dave


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Barry Dave


A man's house is his castle.

Barry Dave


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Butler Dave


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Dave


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Dave Barry


Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Johnson Dave


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Millman Dave


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Parnas Dave


Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Thomas Dave


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

de Dave Johnson on





Random Quote


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,
Frank Herbert

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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