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Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Ba Dave


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Barry Dave


A snake lurks in the grass.

Barry Dave


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Barry Dave


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Barry Dave


If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Barry Dave


In the long run we are all dead.

Barry Dave


That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

Barry Dave


So little time, so little to do.

Barry Dave


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Barry Dave


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Barry Dave


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Barry Dave


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Barry Dave


Beggars should be no choosers.

Barry Dave


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Barry Dave


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Barry Dave


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Barry Dave


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Barry Dave


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Barry Dave


What fools these mortals be.

Barry Dave


For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Barry Dave


When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Barry Dave


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Barry Dave


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Barry Dave


A violent man will die a violent death.

Barry Dave


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Barry Dave


Imagine what we can imagine!

Barry Dave


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Barry Dave


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Barry Dave


Housework can kill you if done right.

Barry Dave


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Barry Dave


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


Practice yourself what you preach.

Barry Dave


Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Barry Dave


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Barry Dave


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Barry Dave


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Barry Dave


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Barry Dave


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Barry Dave


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Barry Dave


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Barry Dave


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Barry Dave


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Barry Dave


While there's life, there's hope.

Barry Dave


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Barry Dave


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Barry Dave


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Barry Dave


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Barry Dave


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Barry Dave


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Butler Dave


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Dave


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Dave Barry


Johnson Dave


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Millman Dave


There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Parnas Dave


A dead man cannot bite.

Thomas Dave


What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

de Dave Johnson on





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He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.
William S. Paley

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Dave
 
 
 
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