A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Words have a longer life than deeds.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Go ahead... make my day.

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Mum's the word.

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Rome was not built in one day.

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

I am a deeply superficial person.

I owe the public nothing.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

A violent man will die a violent death.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.