Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

"Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people"

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Never laugh at live dragons.

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

I will follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it if I can help it.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Nothing endures but change.

Do you mean that you not only want a wrong answer, but a certain wrong answer?

I'll turn over a new leaf.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch a cold on overexposure.

Honesty's the best policy.

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

His mind is like a steel trap: full of mice.

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m. anyway.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

"Quite frankly, I don't like you humans. After what you all have done, I find being 'inhuman' a compliment."

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

There is always something new out of Africa.