The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Well begun is half done.

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Don't get mad, get even.

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Never buy from a rich salesman.

We are upping our standards ... so up yours.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

I will make you shorter by the head.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last car he ever lays down in front of.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Nobody shot me.

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Leave no stone unturned.

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Knowledge is power.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

The white race is the cancer of history.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.