We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

I hate dying.

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Necessity has no law.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

A violent man will die a violent death.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Too much of everything is just enough.

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

We're all in this alone.

A man is known by the company he organizes.