All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Real wealth can only increase.

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

May you live in uninteresting times.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Nothing recedes like success.

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Home is where the hurt is.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

In charity there is no excess.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Nothing endures but change.