The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Necessity hath no law.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Necessity has no law.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Events are not affected, they develop.

Things are not always what they seem.

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Who's scruffy-looking?

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

There's no such thing as an original sin.