If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Grub first, then ethics.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Another day, another dollar.

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Don't vote

The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Poverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

War is like love, it always finds a way.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

There must be more to life than having everything.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

What I tell you three times is true.

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.