If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

To teach is to learn twice.

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

Genius is pain.

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

What!? Me worry?

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

There are no answers, only cross-references.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

You can never do just one thing.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

I owe the public nothing.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?