It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Why be a man when you can be a success?

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Home is where the hurt is.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Well begun is half done.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Your wig steers the gig.

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

The first requisite for immortality is death.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

The more the merrier.

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.