"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Piece of cake!

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

You get what you pay for.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Imagine what we can imagine!

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If