I am a deeply superficial person.

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.

Go away, I'm all right.

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.