If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

It is better to have loved and lost

Everyone is in the best seat.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

When in doubt, use brute force.

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Mum's the word.