Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Necessity has no law.

Look before you leap.

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Let your conscience be your guide.

Honesty's the best policy.

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

What fools these mortals be.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Odets, where is thy sting?

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Rome was not built in one day.

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

To teach is to learn twice.

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Leave no stone unturned.

The coast was clear.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

"Plaese porrf raed."

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Things are not always what they seem.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

There must be more to life than having everything.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h