The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Anything is possible on paper.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Another day, another dollar.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Leave no stone unturned.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

The white race is the cancer of history.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Faith is under the left nipple.

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

I love treason but hate a traitor.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

None love the bearer of bad news.

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

The world wants to be deceived.

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

In the long run we are all dead.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Art is a jealous mistress.

The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

"Life is too important to take seriously."

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?