Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Pilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are ruthless in punishing little thieves.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Even God cannot change the past.

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning must go to the same ass

That's no moon...

Practice yourself what you preach.

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

May you live in uninteresting times.

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

When you jump for joy, beware that no-one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.