A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Charity begins at home.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.