I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

We're only in it for the volume.

I think we're in trouble.

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Nothing succeeds like success.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.