The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Home is where the hurt is.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".