The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim.

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.