"Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully. "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post." "Then I stay," said Dr. Fresh. "I'm not good for much, but I c

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Man is by nature a political animal.

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.