The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of your time when people finally realize you were right, they'll say it was obvious all along.

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

When you're in command, command.

I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell ... their heart's in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

I've got Hubert's pecker in my pocket.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Go away, I'm all right.

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.