"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

The world wants to be deceived.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

A is for Apple.

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending t

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished.

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war and they are screened at onc

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Forgive and forget.

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

It is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will have a high-level meeting.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

I have often looked at women and committed adultery in my heart.