The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

When the sun shineth, make hay.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

If you want divine justice, die.

We're only in it for the volume.

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Honesty's the best policy.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Confucius say too much.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

General notions are generally wrong.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Language is a virus from another planet.

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.