Look before you leap.

Most general statements are false, including this one.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

You get what you pay for.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Anything is possible on paper.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

God helps them that help themselves.

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

In the long run we are all dead.

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Practice yourself what you preach.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

I'll turn over a new leaf.

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.