Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and fitter for new projects than for settled business. For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directeth them; but in new things, a

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

I'll burn my books.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.