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Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Allen Woody


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Allen Woody


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Allen Woody


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Allen Woody


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Allen Woody


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Allen Woody


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Allen Woody


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Allen Woody


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Allen Woody


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Allen Woody


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Allen Woody


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Allen Woody


The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Allen Woody


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Allen Woody


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Allen Woody


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Allen Woody


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Allen Woody


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Woody Allen


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Woody Allen


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Woody Allen





Random Quote


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Twain Mark

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Allen Woody
 
 
 
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