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A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Allen Woody


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Allen Woody


The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Allen Woody


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Allen Woody


A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Allen Woody


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Allen Woody


Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

Allen Woody


Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Allen Woody


No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Allen Woody


When, in 1964, New Hampshire Republican Senator Norris Cotton announced his support of Bary Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal" political views. "Well," expla

Allen Woody


Language is a virus from another planet.

Allen Woody


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Allen Woody


Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Allen Woody


I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Allen Woody


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Allen Woody


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Allen Woody


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Allen Woody


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Woody Allen


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Woody Allen


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Woody Allen





Random Quote


All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse.
Adams John Quincy

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Allen Woody
 
 
 
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