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We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Allen Woody


Look before you leap.

Allen Woody


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Allen Woody


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Allen Woody


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Allen Woody


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Allen Woody


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Allen Woody


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Allen Woody


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Allen Woody


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Allen Woody


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Allen Woody


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Allen Woody


I hate quotations.

Allen Woody


We're all in this alone.

Allen Woody


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Allen Woody


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Allen Woody


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Allen Woody


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Woody Allen


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Woody Allen


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Woody Allen





Random Quote


"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.
Long Lazarus

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Allen Woody
 
 
 
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