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In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Ambrose Bierce


I dote on his very absence.

Ambrose Bierce


All art is but imitation of nature.

Ambrose Bierce


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Ambrose Bierce


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Ambrose Bierce


You guys have been practicing discrimination for years. Now it's our turn.

Ambrose Bierce


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Bierce Ambrose


Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Bierce Ambrose


Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Bierce Ambrose


Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Bierce Ambrose


Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Bierce Ambrose


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Bierce Ambrose


Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Bierce Ambrose


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Bierce Ambrose


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Bierce Ambrose


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Bierce Ambrose





Random Quote


I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.
Paine Thomas

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ambrose Bierce
 
 
 
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