In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.