Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.