I owe the public nothing.

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

God helps them that help themselves.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are