There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

The optimum committee has no members.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

There's no justice in this world.

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Home is where the hurt is.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.