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There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Ba Dave


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Barry Dave


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Barry Dave


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Barry Dave


Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Barry Dave


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Barry Dave


Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Barry Dave


They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Barry Dave


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Barry Dave


The optimum committee has no members.

Barry Dave


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Barry Dave


There's no justice in this world.

Barry Dave


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Barry Dave


The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Barry Dave


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Barry Dave


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Barry Dave


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Barry Dave


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Barry Dave


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Barry Dave


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Barry Dave


I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Barry Dave


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Barry Dave


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Barry Dave


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Barry Dave


Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Barry Dave


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Barry Dave


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Barry Dave


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Barry Dave


Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Barry Dave


If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

Barry Dave


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Barry Dave


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Barry Dave


Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Barry Dave


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Barry Dave


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Barry Dave


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Barry Dave


Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Barry Dave


The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Barry Dave


Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Barry Dave


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Barry Dave


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Barry Dave


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Barry Dave


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Barry Dave


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Barry Dave


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Barry Dave


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Barry Dave


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Barry Dave


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Barry Dave


Home is where the hurt is.

Barry Dave


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Barry Dave


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Dave Barry





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You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me from your own life. May it all turn out to your happiness.
Goethe

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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