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Another day, another dollar.

Ba Dave


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Barry Dave


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Barry Dave


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Barry Dave


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Barry Dave


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Barry Dave


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Barry Dave


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Barry Dave


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Barry Dave


In the long run we are all dead.

Barry Dave


Housework can kill you if done right.

Barry Dave


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Barry Dave


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Barry Dave


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Barry Dave


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Barry Dave


Let your conscience be your guide.

Barry Dave


The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Barry Dave


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Barry Dave


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Barry Dave


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Barry Dave


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Barry Dave


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Barry Dave


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Barry Dave


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Barry Dave


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Barry Dave


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Barry Dave


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Barry Dave


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Barry Dave


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Barry Dave


You can never do just one thing.

Barry Dave


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Barry Dave


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Barry Dave


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Barry Dave


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Barry Dave


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Barry Dave


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Barry Dave


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Barry Dave


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Barry Dave


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Barry Dave


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Barry Dave


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Barry Dave


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Barry Dave


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Barry Dave


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Barry Dave


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Barry Dave


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Barry Dave


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Barry Dave


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Barry Dave


Necessity hath no law.

Dave Barry





Random Quote


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the
Mencken H. L.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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