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Don't guess  Ba Dave
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
 Barry
Dave
There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses
smoking in the men's room.
 Barry
Dave
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
 Barry
Dave
Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.
 Barry
Dave
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
 Barry
Dave
I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.
 Barry
Dave
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
 Barry
Dave
I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for
nothing. I gave them nothing for something.
 Barry
Dave
If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.
 Barry Dave
The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by
people who want some.
 Barry Dave
"Do you think there's a God?"
"Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"
 Barry Dave
If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk.
If you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it.
If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.
 Barry Dave
If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the
separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience,
it might well prolong his life.
 Barry Dave
Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.
 Barry Dave
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still
be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
 Barry Dave
If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
 Barry Dave
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
 Barry Dave
I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.
 Barry Dave
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something
to do with a shortage of flowers.
 Barry Dave
Events are not affected, they develop.
 Barry Dave
Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.
 Barry Dave
I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
 Barry Dave
Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.
 Barry Dave
Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your
obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night
for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and
traps, his race survives Barry Dave
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a
kind word alone.
 Barry Dave
Imagine what we can imagine!
 Barry Dave
Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
 Barry Dave
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
 Barry Dave
Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:
We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch"
may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine
species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe Barry Dave
He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.
 Barry Dave
There is no sin but ignorance.
 Barry Dave
Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a
fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.
 Barry Dave
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,
don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
 Barry Dave
Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high,
they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.
 Barry Dave
If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three
years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law
school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.
 Barry Dave
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
 Barry Dave
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time
they make a law it's a joke.
 Barry Dave
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
 Barry Dave
History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles,
cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.
 Barry Dave
This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because
the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it
recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated"
the airline industry. What t Barry Dave
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead
to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters
of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with
royal-blue chickens.
 Barry Dave
If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could
work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
 Barry Dave
Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.
 Barry Dave
When in doubt, use brute force.
 Barry Dave
Remembering is for those who have forgotten.
 Barry Dave
I have a simple philosophy:
Fill what's empty.
Empty what's full.
Scratch where it itches.
 Barry Dave
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
 Barry Dave
Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not
take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.
 Barry Dave
Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...
 Barry Dave
I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels].
He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial
and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I
ever needed one. Needless  Dave Barry
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Random Quote
Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds
sang there except those that sang best.
 Dyke
Henry Van
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