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Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Ba Dave


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Barry Dave


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Barry Dave


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Barry Dave


Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.

Barry Dave


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Barry Dave


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Barry Dave


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Barry Dave


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Barry Dave


The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Barry Dave


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Barry Dave


Walk softly and carry a big stick.

Barry Dave


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Barry Dave


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Barry Dave


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Barry Dave


The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Barry Dave


They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Barry Dave


The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Barry Dave


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Barry Dave


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Barry Dave


Who's scruffy-looking?

Barry Dave


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Barry Dave


No Marxist can deny that the interests of socialism are higher than the interests of the right of nations to self-determination.

Barry Dave


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Barry Dave


Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Barry Dave


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Barry Dave


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Barry Dave


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Barry Dave


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Barry Dave


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Barry Dave


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Barry Dave


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Barry Dave


Small things make base men proud.

Barry Dave


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Barry Dave


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Barry Dave


Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Barry Dave


When in doubt, tell the truth.

Barry Dave


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Barry Dave


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Barry Dave


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Barry Dave


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Barry Dave


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Barry Dave


"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Barry Dave


A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Barry Dave


Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.

Barry Dave


Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Barry Dave


There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Barry Dave


No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Barry Dave


Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Barry Dave


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Barry Dave


If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Dave Barry





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I have a very strange feeling about this...
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deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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