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If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Ba Dave


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Barry Dave


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Barry Dave


The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Barry Dave


Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Barry Dave


So little time, so little to do.

Barry Dave


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Barry Dave


Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Barry Dave


A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

Barry Dave


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Barry Dave


Man is by nature a political animal.

Barry Dave


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Barry Dave


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Barry Dave


I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Barry Dave


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Barry Dave


It is better to have loved and lost

Barry Dave


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Barry Dave


Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Barry Dave


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Barry Dave


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Barry Dave


"Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully. "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post." "Then I stay," said Dr. Fresh. "I'm not good for much, but I c

Barry Dave


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Barry Dave


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Barry Dave


One good turn deserves another.

Barry Dave


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Barry Dave


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Barry Dave


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Barry Dave


Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Barry Dave


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Barry Dave


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Barry Dave


Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Barry Dave


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Barry Dave


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Barry Dave


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Barry Dave


If you want divine justice, die.

Barry Dave


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Barry Dave


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Barry Dave


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Barry Dave


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Barry Dave


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Barry Dave


A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Barry Dave


Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Barry Dave


All is well that ends well.

Barry Dave


To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

Barry Dave


There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Barry Dave


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Barry Dave


God help those who do not help themselves.

Barry Dave


It's not easy, being green.

Barry Dave


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Barry Dave


XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Barry Dave


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Dave Barry





Random Quote


You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.
Nixon Richard

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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