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... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Ba Dave


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Barry Dave


The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Barry Dave


It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.

Barry Dave


I would have made a good pope.

Barry Dave


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Barry Dave


Many hands make light work.

Barry Dave


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Barry Dave


There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Barry Dave


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Barry Dave


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Barry Dave


There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Barry Dave


question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Barry Dave


The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Barry Dave


"Quite frankly, I don't like you humans. After what you all have done, I find being 'inhuman' a compliment."

Barry Dave


If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Barry Dave


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Barry Dave


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Barry Dave


Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then do what's best.

Barry Dave


You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Barry Dave


The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Barry Dave


A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Barry Dave


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Barry Dave


In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Barry Dave


Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. War is peace.

Barry Dave


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Barry Dave


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Barry Dave


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Barry Dave


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Barry Dave


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Barry Dave


The Least Successful Police Dogs America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or of

Barry Dave


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Barry Dave


Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.

Barry Dave


It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Barry Dave


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Barry Dave


Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Barry Dave


How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?

Barry Dave


At twenty-six, Kate, though not promiscuous, had slept with most of the decent men in public life.

Barry Dave


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Barry Dave


Hope not, lest ye be disappointed.

Barry Dave


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Barry Dave


Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Barry Dave


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Barry Dave


There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Barry Dave


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Barry Dave


We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Barry Dave


A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

Barry Dave


I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.

Barry Dave


Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Barry Dave


In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

Barry Dave


In charity there is no excess.

Dave Barry





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Why, every one as they like; as the good woman said when she kissed her cow.
Rabelais

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Ba Dave
 
 
 
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