Another day, another dollar.

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

In the long run we are all dead.

Housework can kill you if done right.

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Let your conscience be your guide.

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

You can never do just one thing.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Necessity hath no law.