If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

So little time, so little to do.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Man is by nature a political animal.

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

It is better to have loved and lost

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

"Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully. "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post." "Then I stay," said Dr. Fresh. "I'm not good for much, but I c

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

One good turn deserves another.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

If you catch a man, throw him back.

If you want divine justice, die.

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

All is well that ends well.

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

God help those who do not help themselves.

It's not easy, being green.

For courage mounteth with occasion.

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

A full belly makes a dull brain.