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Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Barry Dave


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Barry Dave


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Barry Dave


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Barry Dave


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Barry Dave


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Barry Dave


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Barry Dave


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Barry Dave


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Barry Dave


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Barry Dave


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Barry Dave


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Barry Dave


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Barry Dave


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Barry Dave


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Barry Dave


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Barry Dave


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Barry Dave


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Barry Dave


All is well that ends well.

Barry Dave


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Barry Dave


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Barry Dave


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Barry Dave


... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Barry Dave


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Barry Dave


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Barry Dave


To have died once is enough.

Barry Dave


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Barry Dave


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Barry Dave


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Barry Dave


And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Barry Dave


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Barry Dave


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Barry Dave


Small is beautiful.

Barry Dave


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Barry Dave


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Barry Dave


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Barry Dave


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Barry Dave


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Barry Dave


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Barry Dave


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Barry Dave


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Barry Dave


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Barry Dave


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Barry Dave


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Barry Dave


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Barry Dave


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Barry Dave


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Barry Dave


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Barry Dave


We are what we pretend to be.

Barry Dave


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Dave Barry





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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Twain Mark

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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