He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practice law.

Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honour.

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

But you shall not escape my iambics.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's just the opposite."

Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

As you grow older, you will still do foolish things, but you will do them with much more enthusiasm.

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Keep cool, but don't freeze.

The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.