While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

You tread upon my patience.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

In the long run we are all dead.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Getting into trouble is easy.

In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of the matter about which he is to speak?

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit hits a pe

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Man is the measure of all things.

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.

Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The forest is safe because a lion lives therein and the lion is safe because it lives in a forest. Likewise the friendship of persons rests on mutual help.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.

"California is proud to be the home of the freeway."

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow. The time had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to catching instructions on the wing.