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Necessity has no law.

Barry Dave


Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Barry Dave


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Barry Dave


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Barry Dave


And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Barry Dave


All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Barry Dave


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Barry Dave


Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

Barry Dave


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Barry Dave


"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

Barry Dave


The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Barry Dave


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Barry Dave


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Barry Dave


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Barry Dave


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Barry Dave


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Barry Dave


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Barry Dave


A yawn is a silent shout.

Barry Dave


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Barry Dave


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Barry Dave


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Barry Dave


There's small choice in rotten apples.

Barry Dave


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Barry Dave


Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

Barry Dave


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Barry Dave


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Barry Dave


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Barry Dave


Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.

Barry Dave


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Barry Dave


A is for Apple.

Barry Dave


Think sideways!

Barry Dave


There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Barry Dave


Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Barry Dave


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Barry Dave


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Barry Dave


We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Barry Dave


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Barry Dave


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Barry Dave


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Barry Dave


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Barry Dave


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Barry Dave


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Barry Dave


The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Barry Dave


It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Barry Dave


It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Barry Dave


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Barry Dave


We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Barry Dave


With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Barry Dave


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Barry Dave


Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Dave Barry





Random Quote


"Avoid revolution or expect to get shot. Mother and I will grieve, but we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."
Williamson Dr. Paul

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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