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He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Barry Dave


Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Barry Dave


For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Barry Dave


There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Barry Dave


In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.

Barry Dave


I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practice law.

Barry Dave


Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honour.

Barry Dave


I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

Barry Dave


But you shall not escape my iambics.

Barry Dave


The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Barry Dave


The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Barry Dave


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Barry Dave


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Barry Dave


Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Barry Dave


A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.

Barry Dave


How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?

Barry Dave


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Barry Dave


I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Barry Dave


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Barry Dave


We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Barry Dave


If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Barry Dave


You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Barry Dave


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Barry Dave


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Barry Dave


He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Barry Dave


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Barry Dave


"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's just the opposite."

Barry Dave


Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Barry Dave


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Barry Dave


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Barry Dave


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Barry Dave


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Barry Dave


As you grow older, you will still do foolish things, but you will do them with much more enthusiasm.

Barry Dave


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Barry Dave


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Barry Dave


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Barry Dave


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Barry Dave


Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Barry Dave


When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Barry Dave


Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

Barry Dave


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Barry Dave


Keep cool, but don't freeze.

Barry Dave


The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.

Barry Dave


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Barry Dave


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Barry Dave


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Barry Dave


Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Barry Dave


"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Barry Dave


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Barry Dave


Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Dave Barry





Random Quote


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
Mark Twain

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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