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If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be goose-stepping. Americans are just as suggestible.

Barry Dave


While there's life, there's hope.

Barry Dave


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Barry Dave


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Barry Dave


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Barry Dave


God help those who do not help themselves.

Barry Dave


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Barry Dave


I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

Barry Dave


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Barry Dave


While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.

Barry Dave


You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Barry Dave


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Barry Dave


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Barry Dave


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Barry Dave


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Barry Dave


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Barry Dave


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Barry Dave


They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Barry Dave


In charity there is no excess.

Barry Dave


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Barry Dave


You get what you pay for.

Barry Dave


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Barry Dave


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Barry Dave


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Barry Dave


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Barry Dave


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Barry Dave


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Barry Dave


It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Barry Dave


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Barry Dave


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Barry Dave


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Barry Dave


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Barry Dave


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Barry Dave


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Barry Dave


War is like love, it always finds a way.

Barry Dave


If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Barry Dave


People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Barry Dave


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Barry Dave


Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?

Barry Dave


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Barry Dave


What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the

Barry Dave


Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

Barry Dave


You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!

Barry Dave


I go the way that Providence dictates.

Barry Dave


I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Barry Dave


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Barry Dave


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Barry Dave


Out of sight is out of mind.

Barry Dave


The best you get is an even break.

Barry Dave


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Dave Barry





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As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.
Mark Twain

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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