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When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into
the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
 Barry
Dave
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
 Barry
Dave
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that
is well; but also she will never  Barry
Dave
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally
of dealings with men.
 Barry
Dave
"Spare no expense to save money on this one."
 Barry
Dave
... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech
or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What
did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was
manager? One gets sometimes s Barry
Dave
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
 Barry
Dave
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to
stick to one thing till it gets there.
 Barry
Dave
Events are not affected, they develop.
 Barry Dave
War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
 Barry Dave
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
 Barry Dave
It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
 Barry Dave
Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking
almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all
possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
 Barry Dave
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
 Barry Dave
You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.
 Barry Dave
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
 Barry Dave
The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal.
The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may
experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and
thinking: all the rest of the worl Barry Dave
Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war,
you can only be killed once.
 Barry Dave
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to
the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his
children smart.
 Barry Dave
Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.
 Barry Dave
I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I
will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all
Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they
teach. Oh, tell me that I may s Barry Dave
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be
boss and work twelve.
 Barry Dave
For courage mounteth with occasion.
 Barry Dave
You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
 Barry Dave
A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top
of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.
 Barry Dave
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
 Barry Dave
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
 Barry Dave
There's small choice in rotten apples.
 Barry Dave
The ripest fruit falls first.
 Barry Dave
I will make you shorter by the head.
 Barry Dave
What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script
by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary
Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!
 Barry Dave
We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad
thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?
 Barry Dave
Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.
 Barry Dave
A is for Apple.
 Barry Dave
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
 Barry Dave
Let me take you a button-hole lower.
 Barry Dave
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced
to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
 Barry Dave
God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.
 Barry Dave
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
 Barry Dave
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
 Barry Dave
It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
 Barry Dave
When in doubt, use brute force.
 Barry Dave
Time as he grows old teaches all things.
 Barry Dave
Prizes are for children.
 Barry Dave
He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.
 Barry Dave
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but
that's the way to bet.
 Barry Dave
The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late
and owns the worm farm.
 Barry Dave
Every country has the government it deserves.
 Barry Dave
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government
working for you.
 Barry Dave
"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."
 Dave Barry
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Random Quote
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
 Johnson
Samuel
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