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There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Barry Dave


Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

Barry Dave


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Barry Dave


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Barry Dave


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Barry Dave


What you don't know won't help you much either.

Barry Dave


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Barry Dave


If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Barry Dave


Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Barry Dave


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Barry Dave


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Barry Dave


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Barry Dave


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Barry Dave


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Barry Dave


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Barry Dave


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Barry Dave


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Barry Dave


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Barry Dave


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Barry Dave


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Barry Dave


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Barry Dave


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Barry Dave


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Barry Dave


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Barry Dave


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Barry Dave


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Barry Dave


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Barry Dave


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Barry Dave


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Barry Dave


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Barry Dave


Think sideways!

Barry Dave


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Barry Dave


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Barry Dave


Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Barry Dave


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Barry Dave


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Barry Dave


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Barry Dave


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Barry Dave


Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Barry Dave


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Barry Dave


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Barry Dave


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Barry Dave


Piece of cake!

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Barry Dave


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Barry Dave


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Barry Dave


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Barry Dave


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Barry Dave


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Dave Barry





Random Quote


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the
Mencken H. L.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Barry Dave
 
 
 
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