Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

All is well that ends well.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

To have died once is enough.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Small is beautiful.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

We are what we pretend to be.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.