Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Littering is dumb.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

In my end is my beginning.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Faith is under the left nipple.

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Love the sea? I dote upon it

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Haste makes waste.

Odets, where is thy sting?

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

You can never do just one thing.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

There is no fool to the old fool.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

God helps them that help themselves.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Beggars should be no choosers.

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.