Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Let your conscience be your guide.

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Language is a virus from another planet.

We're only in it for the volume.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Housework can kill you if done right.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.