Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

He who walks on burning coals is sure to get burned.

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Civilization and profits go hand in hand.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.