The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

God is Dead.

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Let your conscience be your guide.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

The best you get is an even break.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h