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People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Ambrose Bierce


If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

Ambrose Bierce


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Ambrose Bierce


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Ambrose Bierce


In my end is my beginning.

Ambrose Bierce


Many hands make light work.

Ambrose Bierce


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Bierce Ambrose


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Bierce Ambrose


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Bierce Ambrose


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Bierce Ambrose


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Bierce Ambrose


If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Bierce Ambrose


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Bierce Ambrose


I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Bierce Ambrose


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Bierce Ambrose


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Bierce Ambrose





Random Quote


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc
Ellison Harlan

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Bierce Ambrose
 
 
 
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