I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Anything is possible on paper.

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.