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If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Ambrose Bierce


I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Ambrose Bierce


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Ambrose Bierce


To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Ambrose Bierce


Well begun is half done.

Ambrose Bierce


She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Ambrose Bierce


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Bierce Ambrose


And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Bierce Ambrose


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Bierce Ambrose


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Bierce Ambrose


I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

Bierce Ambrose


Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Bierce Ambrose


All phone calls are obscene.

Bierce Ambrose


Nothing succeeds like success.

Bierce Ambrose


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Bierce Ambrose


If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be goose-stepping. Americans are just as suggestible.

Bierce Ambrose





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All Gods were immortal.
Stanislaw J. Lem

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Bierce Ambrose
 
 
 
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