Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.