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I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Ambrose Bierce


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Ambrose Bierce


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Ambrose Bierce


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Ambrose Bierce


Anything is possible on paper.

Ambrose Bierce


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Ambrose Bierce


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Bierce Ambrose


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Bierce Ambrose


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Bierce Ambrose


Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Bierce Ambrose


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Bierce Ambrose


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Bierce Ambrose


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Bierce Ambrose


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Bierce Ambrose


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Bierce Ambrose


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Bierce Ambrose





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If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
Truman Harry S.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Bierce Ambrose
 
 
 
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