An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage. "What is this?" he shouts. "I fought

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.