In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.