A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

The optimum committee has no members.

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Necessity hath no law.

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.