NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.