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Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Barry Dave


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Barry Dave


Genius is pain.

Barry Dave


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Barry Dave


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Barry Dave


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Barry Dave


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Barry Dave


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Barry Dave


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Barry Dave


There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Barry Dave


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Barry Dave


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Barry Dave


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Barry Dave


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Barry Dave


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Barry Dave


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Barry Dave


Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Barry Dave


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Barry Dave


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Barry Dave


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Barry Dave


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Barry Dave


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Barry Dave


One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Barry Dave


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Barry Dave


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Barry Dave


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Barry Dave


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Barry Dave


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Barry Dave


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Barry Dave


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Barry Dave


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Barry Dave


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Barry Dave


America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Barry Dave


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Barry Dave


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Barry Dave


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Barry Dave


Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Barry Dave


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Barry Dave


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Barry Dave


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Barry Dave


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Barry Dave


To teach is to learn twice.

Barry Dave


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Barry Dave


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Barry Dave


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Barry Dave


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Barry Dave


Littering is dumb.

Barry Dave


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Barry Dave


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Barry Dave


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Dave Barry





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They're giving bank robbing a bad name.
Bon John Dillinger on

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Dave Barry
 
 
 
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