Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up in it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of the past.

I needed the good will of the legislature of four states. I formed the legislative bodies with my own money. I found that it was cheaper that way.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.