A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Never laugh at live dragons.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Language is a virus from another planet.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.