You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Business will be either better or worse.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.