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If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Fran Lebowitz


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Fran Lebowitz


Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Fran Lebowitz


I stick my neck out for nobody.

Lebowitz Fran


Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Lebowitz Fran


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Lebowitz Fran


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Lebowitz Fran


An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi

Metrop Fran Lebowitz





Random Quote


We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.
Locke John

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Fran Lebowitz
 
 
 
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