It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse. The fam'ly might be donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or somethin'. One cult's the same another."

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Out of sight is out of mind.

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.