There's small choice in rotten apples.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.