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Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Abrams Gen. C.

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Attorney General William

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Bergen Candice

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Bradley General Omar N.

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Cynic Diogenes the

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Fowler Gene

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

G Gen.

We're only in it for the volume.

Gallagher Eugene P.

Never buy from a rich salesman.

Gavin General James

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Gene Kirkwood

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Genter Quentin

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Hagen Walter

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Ionesco Eugene

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Ionesco Eugene

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Ionesco Eugene

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

McCarthy Eugene

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

McCarthy Eugene

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Mitchell Gener

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Scott Gene

Prizes are for children.


Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.


No good deed goes unpunished.


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.


One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Wolfe Gene

Random Quote

It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
Noe Roger

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
G Gen
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