I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

"Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully. "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post." "Then I stay," said Dr. Fresh. "I'm not good for much, but I c

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.