Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

All art is but imitation of nature.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

The Least Successful Police Dogs America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or of

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.