Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Satire is tragedy plus time.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.