Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

"They make a desert and call it peace."

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Save the Whales

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

The white race is the cancer of history.

We are what we pretend to be.

If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

per year.

In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.

I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot save myself.