Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.