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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Enoug Lazarus Long


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Lazarus Long


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Long Lazarus


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Long Lazarus


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Long Lazarus


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Long Lazarus


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Long Lazarus


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Long Lazarus


Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Long Lazarus


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Long Lazarus


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Long Lazarus


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Long Lazarus





Random Quote


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.
Gould Jay

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Lazarus Long
 
 
 
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