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Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Adams Franklin


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Adams Franklin


The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Adams Franklin


Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

Ali Muhammad


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Alice Walker


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Alighieri Dante


The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Alinsky Saul


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Alinsky Saul


I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Alinsky Saul


I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers to be feared. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. If we run into such debts, we must be taxed i

Alito Noelie


There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Arthur Sullivan


To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

Attorney General William


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Aurelius Marcus


"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

Aurelius Sextus


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Balliett Whitney


While there's life, there's hope.

Barker Clive


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Ben Franklin


You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Berlioz Hector


I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Billings Josh


It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Billings Josh


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Billings Josh


I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

Billings Josh


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Billings Josh


It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Billings Josh


To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

Billings Josh


Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Blake William


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Blake William


An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.

Blake William


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Blake William


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Blake William


"... gentlemen do not read each other's mail."

Blish James


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Bon John Dillinger on


Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Bowles Colin


Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Bowles Colin


People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Brilliant Ashleigh


By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Brilliant Ashleigh


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent. When Lord Copper was right he said "Definitely, Lord Copper"; when he was wrong, "Up to a point." "Let me see, what's the name of the place I mean? Capital of Japan? Yokoh

Brilliant Ashleigh


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Broughton Philip


If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Buckley William F.


When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Buckley William F.


Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Burroughs William


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Burroughs William S.


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Caesar Gaius Julius


They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Caesar Gaius Julius


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Caesar Julius


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Callimachus


Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Carlin George


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Carpenter Elizabeth


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Catlin Wynn


NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Channing William Ellery


The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

Chaplin Charlie


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

Charles Darling


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Charles Darling


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Charlie Crazy


"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Chevalier Maurice


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Leave no stone unturned.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Clarence Darrow to William


The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

Clifton Fadiman


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Coo Alistair


I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Cooke Alistair


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Cooke Alistair


Mum's the word.

Coolidge Calvin


So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were

Coolidge Calvin


I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Coolidge Calvin


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Coolidge Calvin


Richard Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people, and the world.

Coolidge Calvin


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Coolidge Calvin


Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Coolidge Calvin


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Cromwell Oliver


A is for Apple.

Dali Salvador


Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

Dane Franklin K.


We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Darling Charles


We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Dick Philip K.


Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Dillinger John


His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Disraeli Benjamin


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Disraeli Benjamin


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Disraeli Benjamin


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Disraeli Benjamin


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Disraeli Benjamin


God help those who do not help themselves.

Disraeli Benjamin


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Donatus Aelius


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Elder Pliny the


Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

Eliot George


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Eliot George


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Eliot T.S.


The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Eliot T.S.


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Eliot T.S.


They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Eliot T.Sessay


Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.

Elizabeth I


It seems appropriate to me that Mapplethorpe's perverse images should be situated so close to Congress, which perpetuates a number of unnatural acts upon the body politic every day, without benefit of artificial lubrication or foreplay.

Elizabeth John Greenway


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Elliot


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Ellis Havelock


She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Ellis Havelock


"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

Ellis Nancy


The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Ellison Harlan


A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Ellison Harlan


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Erlich Paul


Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Fadiman Clifton


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Fadiman Clifton


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Fadiman Clifton


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Fadiman Clifton


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Faulkner William


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Faulkner William


Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Fee Elizabeth


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Francisc Colin Bowles San


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Franklin B.


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Franklin B.


A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Franklin B.


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Franklin B.


When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Franklin B.


I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Franklin B.


An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage. "What is this?" he shouts. "I fought

Franklin Ben


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Franklin Ben


A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Franklin Ben


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Franklin Benjamin


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Franklin Benjamin


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Franklin Benjamin


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Franklin Benjamin


The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Franklin Benjamin


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Franklin Benjamin


Necessity hath no law.

Franklin Benjamin


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Franklin Benjamin


We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and when he dies we give

Franklin Benjamin


It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Franklin Benjamin


The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

G. Gordon Liddy's


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Galilei Galileo


If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last car he ever lays down in front of.

Garrison William Lloyd


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Gibran Kahlil


The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got.

Gibran Kahlil


"First World" nations are the ones where people drive Japanese cars; "Second World" nations are where First World residents go on vacation; and "Third World" nations are the ones where people still dive out of trees to prove their manhood.

Gibran Kahlil


How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Gilliam E.A.


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Halsey Admiral William


If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Hazlitt William


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Hellman Lillian


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Heraclitus


I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Holmes Oliver Wendell


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Huntingd Collis P.


"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

James Clive


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

James William


Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

James William


XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Jim Starlin


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Jim Starlin


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

John Lightfoot


In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Joke The Killing


I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.

Jones Franklin P.


The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Jones Franklin P.


The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Jones Franklin P.


In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Jones Franklin P.


Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Joplin Janis


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Juliana Queen


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Julius Caesar


The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Kahlil Gibran


A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Kipling Rudyard


Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Kirk Lisa


We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Larsen Dalglish


All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

LeBoutillier J.


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

LeoGrande William


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Leslie Stephen


Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Leslie Stephen


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Lester Julius


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Li Woman's


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Li Mark Twain


It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

Lie Trygve


Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Liebling A.J.


Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.

Liebling A.J.


Fear is the greatest salesman.

Liepmann Hans


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Lilly John


I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Lincoln A.


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Lincoln Abraham


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Lincoln Abraham


History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Lincoln Abraham


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Lincoln Abraham


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Lincoln Abraham


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Lincoln Abraham


What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the

Lincoln Abraham


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Lincoln Abraham


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Lindbergh Charles


A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Ling James J.


All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Lippmann Walter


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Lippmann Walter


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Little Mary Wilson


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Little Rich


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Machiavelli


question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Machiavelli Niccolo


Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Man Little Big


It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Marcus Tullius Cicero


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Mari Clive James on


A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

McCarthy Charlie


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

McCarthy Charlie


The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

McCorkle Julia Norton


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Melvin Belli


"Avoid revolution or expect to get shot. Mother and I will grieve, but we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."

Miller. Olin


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Moliere


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Morris William


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Moss Stirling


"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

North Lt. Col. Ollie


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

North Oliver


Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Novem The Realist


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Oliver


The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Oliver


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Orton William


I am not now and never have been a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.

Palindromist The Mad


The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Paul Tillich German


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Penn William


[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Perlis Alan J.


War is like love, it always finds a way.

Philip Hale Boston


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Philips Emo


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Phillips Emo


Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Phillips Utah


One good turn asketh another.

Player Willis


Better late than never.

Professor English


Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending t

Publilius


"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Publius Ovidius Naso


Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Publius Terentius Afer


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Publius Terentius Afer


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Publius Terentius Afer


Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Publius Terentius Afer


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Publius Vergilius Maro


Events are not affected, they develop.

Publius Vergilius Maro


For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

Publius Vergilius Maro


To know Edina is to reject it.

Publius Vergilius Maro


A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Pulitzer Joseph


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Richard Little


Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Rockwell George Lincoln


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Roosevelt Franklin D.


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Roosevelt Franklin D.


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Salinger J. D.


Don't guess

Sandra Gotlieb


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Schlafly Phyllis


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Secundus Gaius Plinius


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Serling Rod


Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Shake William


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Shake William


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Shake William


My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

Shake William


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Shake William


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Shake William


Confucius say too much.

Shake William


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Shake William


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Shake William


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Shake William


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Shake William


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Shakes William


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Shakes William


Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Shakesp William


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Shakesp William


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Shakesp William


A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Shakespear William


Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soo

Shakespear William


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Shakespear William


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Shakespear William


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Shakespear William


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Shakespeare William


I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Shakespeare William


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Shakespeare William


Imagine me going around with a pot belly. It would mean political ruin.

Shakespeare William


A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Shakespeare William


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Shakespeare William


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Shakespeare William


We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

Shakespeare William


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Shakespeare William


Man is the measure of all things.

Shakespeare William


A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

Shakespeare William


We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Shakespeare William


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Shakespeare William


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Shakespeare William


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Shakespeare William


It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Shakespeare William


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Shakespeare William


He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Shakespeare William


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Shaw Pygmali


All phone calls are obscene.

Stalin Joseph


The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Stalin Joseph


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Stalin Joseph


English literature's performing flea.

Stalin Joseph


"Plaese porrf raed."

Stephen Leslie


My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Strachey Lionel


We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

Syrus Publilius


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Syrus Publilius


I am not a crook.

Syrus Publilius


And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Syrus Publilius


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Syrus Publilius


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Syrus Publilius


"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Syrus Publilius


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Syrus Publilius


He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

Syrus Publilius


I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

Syrus Publilius


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Syrus Publilius


I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Syrus Publius


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

T.S. Eliot


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Taylor Elizabeth


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

The Outer Limits


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Tiselius Arne


"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."

Titus Livius


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Tomlin Lily


Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usu

Tomlin Lily


She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

Tomlin Lily


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Tomlin Lily


The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

Tomlin Lily


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Tomlin Lily


Patch griefs with proverbs.

Tomlin Lily


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Trillin Calvin


Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Trilling Lionel


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Wagner Lichty &


Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Walinsky Adam


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

War Oliver


No evil can happen to a good man.

Wellington The Duke of


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Wellington Duke


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Wells J. Wellington


Rome was not built in one day.

Wells J. Wellington


There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Whalen Philip


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

White William Allen


Never buy from a rich salesman.

White William Allen


Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Willard F. Libby


"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

William


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

William Gibson


I will make you shorter by the head.

William S. Paley


Who's scruffy-looking?

William Shakespeare


Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

William Shakespeare


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

William Shakespeare


Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

William Shakespeare


Genius is pain.

William Shakespeare


If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Williams H.H.


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Williams Robin


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Williams Tennessee


Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Williams Robin


May you live in uninteresting times.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Williamson Nicol


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Williamson Dr. Paul


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Willie Sutton


Art is a jealous mistress.

Yeats William Butler


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Yutang Lin


Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson


Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

proverb Italian


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

proverb Polish





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