Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

I owe the public nothing.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Confucius say too much.

No two persons ever read the same book.

Practice yourself what you preach.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Language is a virus from another planet.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

What an artist dies with me!

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

A word to the wise is enough.

Home is where the hurt is.

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Faith is under the left nipple.

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Satire is tragedy plus time.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

God helps them that help themselves.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Things are not always what they seem.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

There are no answers, only cross-references.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

I hate quotations.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

The man who runs may fight again.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

All phone calls are obscene.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Honesty's the best policy.

You get what you pay for.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Go away, I'm all right.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Two heads are better than one.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Let your conscience be your guide.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

The major sin is the sin of being born.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Don't get mad, get even.

Don't guess

One big pile is better than two little piles.

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Nothing recedes like success.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Odets, where is thy sting?

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

That's no moon...

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Better late than never.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

If you want divine justice, die.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Getting into trouble is easy.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

We're only in it for the volume.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

When in doubt, use brute force.

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Too much of everything is just enough.

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

What fools these mortals be.

Housework can kill you if done right.

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

The optimum committee has no members.

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

So little time, so little to do.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

The superfluous is very necessary.

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Genius is pain.

There's no justice in this world.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Haste makes waste.

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

You can never do just one thing.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

May you live in uninteresting times.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Imagine what we can imagine!

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Look before you leap.

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.