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Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Adams Franklin

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Adams Franklin

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Adams Franklin

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Ali Muhammad

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Alice Walker

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Alighieri Dante

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Alinsky Saul

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Alinsky Saul

Odets, where is thy sting?

Alinsky Saul

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Alito Noelie

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Arthur Sullivan

Let your conscience be your guide.

Attorney General William

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Aurelius Marcus

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Aurelius Sextus

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Balliett Whitney

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Barker Clive

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Ben Franklin

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Berlioz Hector

Charity begins at home.

Billings Josh

All phone calls are obscene.

Billings Josh

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Billings Josh

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Billings Josh

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Billings Josh

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Billings Josh

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Billings Josh

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Blake William

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Blake William

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Blake William

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Blake William

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Blake William

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Blish James

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Bon John Dillinger on

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Bowles Colin

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Bowles Colin

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Brilliant Ashleigh

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Brilliant Ashleigh

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Brilliant Ashleigh

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Brilliant Ashleigh

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Brilliant Ashleigh

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Broughton Philip

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Buckley William F.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Buckley William F.

Necessity hath no law.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Burroughs William

While there's life, there's hope.

Burroughs William S.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Faith is under the left nipple.

Caesar Julius

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Carlin George

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Men will fuck mud.

Catlin Wynn

Set the cart before the horse.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Channing William Ellery

The best you get is an even break.

Chaplin Charlie

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Charles Darling

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Charles Darling

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Charlie Crazy

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Chevalier Maurice

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Clarence Darrow to William

The man who runs may fight again.

Clifton Fadiman

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Coo Alistair

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Cooke Alistair

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

Cooke Alistair

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Coolidge Calvin

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Coolidge Calvin

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Coolidge Calvin

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Coolidge Calvin

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Coolidge Calvin

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Coolidge Calvin

If there is no wind, row.

Coolidge Calvin

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Cromwell Oliver

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Dali Salvador

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Dane Franklin K.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Darling Charles

Another day, another dollar.

Dick Philip K.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Dillinger John

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Disraeli Benjamin

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Disraeli Benjamin

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Disraeli Benjamin

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Disraeli Benjamin

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Disraeli Benjamin

Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Disraeli Benjamin

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Donatus Aelius

Home is where the hurt is.

Elder Pliny the

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Eliot George

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Eliot George

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Eliot T.S.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Eliot T.S.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Eliot T.S.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Eliot T.Sessay

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Elizabeth I

A word to the wise is enough.

Elizabeth John Greenway

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Ellis Havelock

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Ellis Havelock

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Ellis Nancy

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Ellison Harlan

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Ellison Harlan

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Erlich Paul

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Fadiman Clifton

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Fadiman Clifton

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Fadiman Clifton

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Fadiman Clifton

General notions are generally wrong.

Faulkner William

The superfluous is very necessary.

Faulkner William

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Fee Elizabeth

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Francisc Colin Bowles San

So little time, so little to do.

Franklin B.

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Franklin B.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Franklin B.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Franklin B.

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Franklin B.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Franklin B.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Franklin Ben

Never promise more than you can perform.

Franklin Ben

Practice yourself what you preach.

Franklin Ben

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Franklin Benjamin

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Franklin Benjamin

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Franklin Benjamin

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Franklin Benjamin

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Franklin Benjamin

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Franklin Benjamin

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Franklin Benjamin

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Franklin Benjamin

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Franklin Benjamin

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Franklin Benjamin

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

G. Gordon Liddy's

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Galilei Galileo

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Garrison William Lloyd

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Gibran Kahlil

In charity there is no excess.

Gibran Kahlil

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Gibran Kahlil

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Gilliam E.A.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Halsey Admiral William

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Hazlitt William

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Hellman Lillian

What you don't know won't help you much either.


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Huntingd Collis P.

There is no sin but ignorance.

James Clive

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

James William

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

James William

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Jim Starlin

Small is beautiful.

Jim Starlin

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

John Lightfoot

One good turn deserves another.

Joke The Killing

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Jones Franklin P.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Jones Franklin P.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Jones Franklin P.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Jones Franklin P.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Joplin Janis

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Juliana Queen

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Julius Caesar

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Kahlil Gibran

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Kipling Rudyard

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Kirk Lisa

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Larsen Dalglish

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

LeBoutillier J.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

LeoGrande William

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Leslie Stephen

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Leslie Stephen

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Lester Julius

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Li Woman's

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Li Mark Twain

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Lie Trygve

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Liebling A.J.

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Liebling A.J.

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Liepmann Hans

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

If God is One, what is bad?

Lilly John

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Lincoln A.

Don't get mad, get even.

Lincoln Abraham

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Lincoln Abraham

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Lincoln Abraham

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Lincoln Abraham

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Lincoln Abraham

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Lincoln Abraham

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Lincoln Abraham

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Lincoln Abraham

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Lindbergh Charles

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Ling James J.

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Lippmann Walter

Things are not always what they seem.

Lippmann Walter

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Little Mary Wilson

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Little Rich

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Machiavelli Niccolo

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Man Little Big

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Marcus Tullius Cicero

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Mari Clive James on

None love the bearer of bad news.

McCarthy Charlie

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

McCarthy Charlie

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

McCorkle Julia Norton

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Melvin Belli

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Miller. Olin

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.


Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Morris William

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Moss Stirling

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

North Oliver

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Novem The Realist

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.


If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Orton William

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Palindromist The Mad

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Paul Tillich German

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Penn William

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Perlis Alan J.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Philip Hale Boston

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Philips Emo

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Phillips Emo

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Phillips Utah

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Player Willis

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Professor English

I'll turn over a new leaf.


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Publius Ovidius Naso

Littering is dumb.

Publius Terentius Afer

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Publius Terentius Afer

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Publius Terentius Afer

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Publius Terentius Afer

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Publius Vergilius Maro

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Publius Vergilius Maro

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

Publius Vergilius Maro

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Pulitzer Joseph

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Richard Little

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Rockwell George Lincoln

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Roosevelt Franklin D.

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Salinger J. D.

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Sandra Gotlieb

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Schlafly Phyllis

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Secundus Gaius Plinius

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Serling Rod

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Shake William

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Shake William

Too much of everything is just enough.

Shake William

Genius is pain.

Shake William

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Shake William

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Shake William

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Shake William

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Shake William

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Shake William

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Shake William

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Shake William

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Shakes William

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Shakes William

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Shakesp William

We're only in it for the volume.

Shakesp William

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Shakesp William

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Shakespear William

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Shakespear William

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Shakespear William

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Shakespear William

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Shakespear William

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Shakespeare William

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Shakespeare William

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Shakespeare William

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Shakespeare William

Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Shakespeare William

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Shakespeare William

Necessity has no law.

Shakespeare William

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Shakespeare William

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Shakespeare William

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Shakespeare William

The world wants to be deceived.

Shakespeare William

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Shakespeare William

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Shakespeare William

No good deed goes unpunished.

Shakespeare William

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Shakespeare William

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Shakespeare William

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Shakespeare William

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Shakespeare William

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Shaw Pygmali

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Stalin Joseph

"Plaese porrf raed."

Stalin Joseph

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Stalin Joseph

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Stalin Joseph

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Stephen Leslie

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Strachey Lionel

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Syrus Publilius

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Syrus Publilius

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Syrus Publilius

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Syrus Publilius

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Syrus Publilius

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Syrus Publilius

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Syrus Publilius

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Syrus Publilius

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Syrus Publilius

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Syrus Publilius

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Syrus Publilius

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Syrus Publius

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

T.S. Eliot

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Taylor Elizabeth

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

The Outer Limits

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Tiselius Arne

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Titus Livius

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Tomlin Lily

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Tomlin Lily

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Tomlin Lily

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Tomlin Lily

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Tomlin Lily

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Tomlin Lily

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Tomlin Lily

Mum's the word.

Trillin Calvin

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Trilling Lionel

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Wagner Lichty &

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Walinsky Adam

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

War Oliver

Language is a virus from another planet.

Wellington The Duke of

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Wellington Duke

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Wells J. Wellington

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Wells J. Wellington

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Whalen Philip

To generalize is to be an idiot.

White William Allen

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

White William Allen

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Willard F. Libby

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

William Gibson

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

William S. Paley

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

William Shakespeare

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

William Shakespeare

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

William Shakespeare

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

William Shakespeare

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

William Shakespeare

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Williams H.H.

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Williams Robin

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Williams Tennessee

Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Williams Robin

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Beggars should be no choosers.

Williamson Nicol

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Williamson Dr. Paul

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Willie Sutton

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Yeats William Butler

The more the merrier.

Yutang Lin

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

proverb Italian

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.
Ronald Brady

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Li Woman's
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