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I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

Adams Franklin

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Adams Franklin

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Adams Franklin

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Ali Muhammad

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Alice Walker

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Alighieri Dante

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Alinsky Saul

Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Alinsky Saul

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Alinsky Saul

May you live in uninteresting times.

Alito Noelie

Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

Arthur Sullivan

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Attorney General William

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Aurelius Marcus

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

Aurelius Sextus

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Balliett Whitney

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.

Barker Clive

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Ben Franklin

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Berlioz Hector

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Billings Josh

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Billings Josh

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Billings Josh

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Billings Josh

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Billings Josh

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Billings Josh

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Billings Josh

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Blake William

I think the world is run by C students.

Blake William

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Blake William

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Blake William

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Blake William

There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.

Blish James

To teach is to learn twice.

Bon John Dillinger on

My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

Bowles Colin

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Bowles Colin

Too much is just enough.

Brilliant Ashleigh

"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."

Brilliant Ashleigh

... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up in it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of the past.

Brilliant Ashleigh

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Broughton Philip

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Buckley William F.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Buckley William F.

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Burroughs William

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Burroughs William S.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Caesar Gaius Julius

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Caesar Gaius Julius

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Caesar Julius

Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?


Knowledge is power.

Carlin George

To defend the Saigon regime is not worth one more human life.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Catlin Wynn

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war, you can only be killed once.

Channing William Ellery

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

Chaplin Charlie

The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Charles Darling

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Charles Darling

Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is a matter of discretion.

Charlie Crazy

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Chevalier Maurice

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Clarence Darrow to William

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Clifton Fadiman

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Coo Alistair

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Cooke Alistair

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Cooke Alistair

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Coolidge Calvin

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Coolidge Calvin

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Coolidge Calvin

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Coolidge Calvin

Things are not always what they seem.

Coolidge Calvin

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Coolidge Calvin

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Coolidge Calvin

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Cromwell Oliver

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Dali Salvador

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Dane Franklin K.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Darling Charles

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Dick Philip K.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Dillinger John

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Disraeli Benjamin

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Disraeli Benjamin

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Disraeli Benjamin

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Disraeli Benjamin

There is no fool to the old fool.

Disraeli Benjamin

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Disraeli Benjamin

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Donatus Aelius

Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS ag

Elder Pliny the

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Eliot George

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Eliot George

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Eliot T.S.

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Eliot T.S.

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Eliot T.S.

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Eliot T.Sessay

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Elizabeth I

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Elizabeth John Greenway

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.


She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Ellis Havelock

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Ellis Havelock

I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Ellis Nancy

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Ellison Harlan

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war and they are screened at onc

Ellison Harlan

Tip O'Neill is just like Congress; old, fat and out of control.

Erlich Paul

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Fadiman Clifton

How should they answer?

Fadiman Clifton

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

Fadiman Clifton

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Fadiman Clifton

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Faulkner William

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Faulkner William

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Fee Elizabeth

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

Out of sight is out of mind.

Franklin B.

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Franklin B.

It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Franklin B.

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Franklin B.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Franklin B.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

Franklin B.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Franklin Ben

We're all in this alone.

Franklin Ben

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Franklin Ben

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Franklin Benjamin

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Franklin Benjamin

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Franklin Benjamin

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Franklin Benjamin

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Franklin Benjamin

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Franklin Benjamin

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Franklin Benjamin

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Franklin Benjamin

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Franklin Benjamin

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Franklin Benjamin

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

G. Gordon Liddy's

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Galilei Galileo

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Garrison William Lloyd

We are upping our standards ... so up yours.

Gibran Kahlil

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Gibran Kahlil

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Gibran Kahlil

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Gilliam E.A.

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Halsey Admiral William

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hazlitt William

The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man really clever who has not found that he is stupid.

Hellman Lillian

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Huntingd Collis P.

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

James Clive

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

James William

I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

James William

"They make a desert and call it peace."

Jim Starlin

Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Jim Starlin

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

John Lightfoot

"My country, right or wrong" is a thing that no patriot would think of saying, except in a desperate case. It is like saying "My mother, drunk or sober."

Joke The Killing

Your wig steers the gig.

Jones Franklin P.

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Jones Franklin P.

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Jones Franklin P.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Jones Franklin P.

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Joplin Janis

There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Juliana Queen

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Julius Caesar

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

It's not easy, being green.

Kahlil Gibran

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Kipling Rudyard

Let your conscience be your guide.

Kirk Lisa

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

Larsen Dalglish

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

LeBoutillier J.

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

LeoGrande William

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Leslie Stephen

No two persons ever read the same book.

Leslie Stephen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Lester Julius

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Li Woman's

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Li Mark Twain

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Lie Trygve

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Liebling A.J.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Liebling A.J.

Another day, another dollar.

Liepmann Hans

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible carpenter.

Lilly John

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Lincoln A.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Lincoln Abraham

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Lincoln Abraham

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Lincoln Abraham

But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Lincoln Abraham

If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Lincoln Abraham

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Lincoln Abraham

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Lincoln Abraham

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

Lincoln Abraham

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

Lindbergh Charles

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Ling James J.

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Lippmann Walter

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Lippmann Walter

Piece of cake!

Little Mary Wilson

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Little Rich

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Machiavelli Niccolo

Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Man Little Big

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Mari Clive James on

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

McCarthy Charlie

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

McCarthy Charlie

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

McCorkle Julia Norton

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Melvin Belli

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Miller. Olin

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Morris William

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Moss Stirling

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

North Oliver

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Novem The Realist

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Orton William

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Palindromist The Mad

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Paul Tillich German

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Penn William

Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Perlis Alan J.

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

Philip Hale Boston

Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.

Philips Emo

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Phillips Emo

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Phillips Utah

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Player Willis

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Professor English

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Publius Ovidius Naso

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Publius Terentius Afer

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Publius Terentius Afer

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Publius Terentius Afer

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Publius Terentius Afer

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Publius Vergilius Maro

God helps them that help themselves.

Publius Vergilius Maro

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Publius Vergilius Maro

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Pulitzer Joseph

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Richard Little

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Rockwell George Lincoln

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Salinger J. D.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Sandra Gotlieb

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Schlafly Phyllis

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Serling Rod

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Shake William

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Shake William

"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Shake William

Littering is dumb.

Shake William

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Shake William

To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Shake William

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Shake William

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Shake William

All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.

Shake William

A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Shake William

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Shake William

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Shakes William

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Shakes William

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Shakesp William

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Shakesp William

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Shakesp William

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Shakespear William

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Shakespear William

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Shakespear William

"Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday. Mannis feels he must devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate from a recent statement he made compar

Shakespear William

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Shakespear William

[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Shakespeare William

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Shakespeare William

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Shakespeare William

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Shakespeare William

A witty saying proves nothing.

Shakespeare William

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Shakespeare William

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Shakespeare William

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Shakespeare William

Vote early and vote often.

Shakespeare William

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Shakespeare William

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Shakespeare William

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Shakespeare William

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Shakespeare William

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Shakespeare William

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Shakespeare William

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Shakespeare William

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Shakespeare William

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Shakespeare William

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Shaw Pygmali

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Stalin Joseph

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Stalin Joseph

We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.

Stalin Joseph

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Stalin Joseph

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Stephen Leslie

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Strachey Lionel

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Syrus Publilius

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Syrus Publilius

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Syrus Publilius

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Syrus Publilius

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Syrus Publilius

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Syrus Publilius

Tempt not a desperate man.

Syrus Publilius

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Syrus Publilius

Faith is under the left nipple.

Syrus Publilius

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Syrus Publilius

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Syrus Publilius

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Syrus Publius

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

T.S. Eliot

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Taylor Elizabeth

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

The Outer Limits

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Tiselius Arne

Mum's the word.

Titus Livius

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Tomlin Lily

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Tomlin Lily

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Tomlin Lily

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Tomlin Lily

A word to the wise is enough.

Tomlin Lily

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Tomlin Lily

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Tomlin Lily

I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Trillin Calvin

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

Trilling Lionel

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Wagner Lichty &

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Walinsky Adam

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

War Oliver

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Wellington The Duke of

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Wellington Duke

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Wells J. Wellington

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Wells J. Wellington

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Whalen Philip

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

White William Allen

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

White William Allen

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Willard F. Libby

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.


I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

William Gibson

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

William S. Paley

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

William Shakespeare

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

William Shakespeare

The more the merrier.

William Shakespeare

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

William Shakespeare

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

William Shakespeare

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Williams H.H.

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Williams Robin

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Williams Tennessee

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Williams Robin

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Williamson Nicol

Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Williamson Dr. Paul

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Willie Sutton

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Yeats William Butler

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Yutang Lin

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

proverb Italian

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus
Mencken H. L.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Li Woman's
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