Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Confucius say too much.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

What we wish, that we readily believe.

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

You tread upon my patience.

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Nothing succeeds like success.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

A is for Apple.

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Let the people think they govern and they will be governed.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

A yawn is a silent shout.

Once is happenstance, Twice is coincidence, Three times is enemy action.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.

The best you get is an even break.

A diplomat's life consists of three things: protocol, Geritol, and alcohol.

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Serfs up!

How should they answer?

Don't vote

So little time, so little to do.

In my end is my beginning.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

To add insult to injury.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

The superfluous is very necessary.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Let sleeping dogs lie.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Things are not always what they seem.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

A word to the wise is enough.

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

I steal.

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

I hate dying.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Beggars should be no choosers.

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

All phone calls are obscene.

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

I dote on his very absence.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

Everyone is in the best seat.

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Imagine what we can imagine!

To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

A man's house is his castle.

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Small things make base men proud.

Too much is just enough.

The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

Well begun is half done.

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Our sires' age was worse that our grandsires'. We their sons are more worthless than they: so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Out of sight is out of mind.

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un

Never buy from a rich salesman.

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

per year.

What I tell you three times is true.

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

A snake lurks in the grass.

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

If God is One, what is bad?

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

The time was the 19th of May, 1780. The place was Hartford, Connecticut. The day has gone down in New England history as a terrible foretaste of Judgement Day. For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by mid-afternoon had blackened over s

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

There's small choice in rotten apples.