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The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Adams Franklin

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Adams Franklin

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Adams Franklin

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Ali Muhammad

Turn the other cheek.

Alice Walker

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Alighieri Dante

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Alinsky Saul

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Alinsky Saul

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Alinsky Saul

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Alito Noelie

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Arthur Sullivan

Piece of cake!

Attorney General William

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Aurelius Marcus

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Aurelius Sextus

Man is the measure of all things.

Balliett Whitney

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Barker Clive

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Ben Franklin

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Berlioz Hector

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Billings Josh

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Billings Josh

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Billings Josh

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Billings Josh

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Billings Josh

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Billings Josh

Another day, another dollar.

Billings Josh

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Blake William

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Blake William

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Blake William

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Blake William

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Blake William

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Blish James

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Bon John Dillinger on

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Bowles Colin

The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Bowles Colin

Imagine what we can imagine!

Brilliant Ashleigh

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Brilliant Ashleigh

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Men will fuck mud.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Broughton Philip

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Buckley William F.

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Buckley William F.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Burroughs William

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Burroughs William S.

To know Edina is to reject it.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Caesar Gaius Julius

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Caesar Julius

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Carlin George

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Catlin Wynn

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Channing William Ellery

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Chaplin Charlie

Go ahead... make my day.

Charles Darling

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Charles Darling

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Charlie Crazy

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Chevalier Maurice

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Clarence Darrow to William

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Clifton Fadiman

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Coo Alistair

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Cooke Alistair

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Cooke Alistair

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Coolidge Calvin

Don't guess

Coolidge Calvin

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Coolidge Calvin

Nothing recedes like success.

Coolidge Calvin

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Coolidge Calvin

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Coolidge Calvin

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Coolidge Calvin

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Cromwell Oliver

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Dali Salvador

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Dane Franklin K.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Darling Charles

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Dick Philip K.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Dillinger John

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Disraeli Benjamin

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Disraeli Benjamin

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Disraeli Benjamin

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Disraeli Benjamin

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Disraeli Benjamin

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Disraeli Benjamin

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Donatus Aelius

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Elder Pliny the

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Eliot George

A dead man cannot bite.

Eliot George

I hate quotations.

Eliot T.S.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Eliot T.S.

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Eliot T.S.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Eliot T.Sessay

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Elizabeth I

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Elizabeth John Greenway

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Ellis Havelock

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Ellis Havelock

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Ellis Nancy

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Ellison Harlan

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Ellison Harlan

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Erlich Paul

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Fadiman Clifton

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Fadiman Clifton

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Fadiman Clifton

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Fadiman Clifton

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Faulkner William

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Faulkner William

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Fee Elizabeth

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Franklin B.

A violent man will die a violent death.

Franklin B.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Franklin B.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Franklin B.

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Franklin B.

What!? Me worry?

Franklin B.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Franklin Ben

What fools these mortals be.

Franklin Ben

They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Franklin Ben

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Franklin Benjamin

Confucius say too much.

Franklin Benjamin

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Franklin Benjamin

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Franklin Benjamin

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Franklin Benjamin

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Franklin Benjamin

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Franklin Benjamin

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Franklin Benjamin

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Franklin Benjamin

Nothing endures but change.

Franklin Benjamin

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

G. Gordon Liddy's

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Galilei Galileo

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Garrison William Lloyd

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Gibran Kahlil

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Gibran Kahlil

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Gibran Kahlil

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Gilliam E.A.

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Halsey Admiral William

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Hazlitt William

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Hellman Lillian

Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Huntingd Collis P.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

James Clive

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

James William

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

James William

My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Jim Starlin

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Jim Starlin

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

John Lightfoot

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Joke The Killing

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Jones Franklin P.

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Jones Franklin P.

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Jones Franklin P.

Your wig steers the gig.

Jones Franklin P.

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Joplin Janis

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Juliana Queen

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Julius Caesar

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Kahlil Gibran

Haste makes waste.

Kipling Rudyard

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Kirk Lisa

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Larsen Dalglish

Prizes are for children.

LeBoutillier J.

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

LeoGrande William

The more the merrier.

Leslie Stephen

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Leslie Stephen

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Lester Julius

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Li Woman's

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Li Mark Twain

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Lie Trygve

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Liebling A.J.

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Liebling A.J.

Everyone is in the best seat.

Liepmann Hans

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Lilly John

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Lincoln A.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Lincoln Abraham

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Lincoln Abraham

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Lincoln Abraham

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Lincoln Abraham

Leave no stone unturned.

Lincoln Abraham

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Lincoln Abraham

Art is anything you can get away with.

Lincoln Abraham

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Lincoln Abraham

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Lindbergh Charles

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Ling James J.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Lippmann Walter

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Lippmann Walter

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Little Mary Wilson

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Little Rich

Practice yourself what you preach.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Machiavelli Niccolo

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Man Little Big

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Mari Clive James on

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

McCarthy Charlie

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

McCarthy Charlie

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

McCorkle Julia Norton

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Melvin Belli

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Miller. Olin

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Morris William

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Moss Stirling

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

North Oliver

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Novem The Realist

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Orton William

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Palindromist The Mad

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Paul Tillich German

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Penn William

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Perlis Alan J.

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Philip Hale Boston

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Philips Emo

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Phillips Emo

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Phillips Utah

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Player Willis

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Professor English

Real wealth can only increase.


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Publius Ovidius Naso

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Publius Terentius Afer

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Publius Terentius Afer

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Publius Terentius Afer

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Publius Terentius Afer

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Publius Vergilius Maro

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Publius Vergilius Maro

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Publius Vergilius Maro

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Pulitzer Joseph

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Richard Little

In the long run we are all dead.

Rockwell George Lincoln

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Salinger J. D.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Sandra Gotlieb

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Schlafly Phyllis

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Serling Rod

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Shake William

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Shake William

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Shake William

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Shake William

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Shake William

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Shake William

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Shake William

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Shake William

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Shake William

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Shake William

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Shake William

To teach is to learn twice.

Shakes William

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Shakes William

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Shakesp William

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Shakesp William

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Shakesp William

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Shakespear William

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Shakespear William

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Shakespear William

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Shakespear William

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Shakespear William

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Shakespeare William

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Shakespeare William

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Shakespeare William

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Shakespeare William

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Shakespeare William

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Shakespeare William

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Shakespeare William

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Shakespeare William

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Shakespeare William

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Shakespeare William

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Shakespeare William

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Shakespeare William

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Shakespeare William

One good turn deserves another.

Shakespeare William

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Shakespeare William

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Shakespeare William

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Shakespeare William

Littering is dumb.

Shakespeare William

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Shaw Pygmali

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Stalin Joseph

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Stalin Joseph

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Stalin Joseph

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Stalin Joseph

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Stephen Leslie

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Strachey Lionel

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Syrus Publilius

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Syrus Publilius

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Syrus Publilius

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Syrus Publilius

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Syrus Publilius

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Syrus Publilius

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Syrus Publilius

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Syrus Publilius

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Syrus Publilius

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Syrus Publilius

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Syrus Publilius

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Syrus Publius

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

T.S. Eliot

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Taylor Elizabeth

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

The Outer Limits

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Tiselius Arne

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Titus Livius

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Tomlin Lily

There's no justice in this world.

Tomlin Lily

If you want divine justice, die.

Tomlin Lily

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Tomlin Lily

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Tomlin Lily

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Tomlin Lily

All phone calls are obscene.

Tomlin Lily

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Trillin Calvin

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Trilling Lionel

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Wagner Lichty &

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Walinsky Adam

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

War Oliver

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Wellington The Duke of

Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Wellington Duke

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Wells J. Wellington

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Wells J. Wellington

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Whalen Philip

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

White William Allen

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

White William Allen

A witty saying proves nothing.

Willard F. Libby

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

William Gibson

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

William S. Paley

When the sun shineth, make hay.

William Shakespeare

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

William Shakespeare

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

William Shakespeare

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

William Shakespeare

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

William Shakespeare

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Williams H.H.

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Williams Robin

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Williams Tennessee

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Williams Robin

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

To add insult to injury.

Williamson Nicol

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Williamson Dr. Paul

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Willie Sutton

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Yeats William Butler

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Yutang Lin

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

proverb Italian

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

proverb Polish

Random Quote

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.
Hubbard L. Ron

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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