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Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Adams Franklin


Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Adams Franklin


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Adams Franklin


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Ali Muhammad


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Alice Walker


Nice guys finish last.

Alighieri Dante


I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Alinsky Saul


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Alinsky Saul


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Alinsky Saul


Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio

Alito Noelie


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Arthur Sullivan


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Attorney General William


I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Aurelius Marcus


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Aurelius Sextus


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Balliett Whitney


Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Barker Clive


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Ben Franklin


Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Berlioz Hector


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Billings Josh


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Billings Josh


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Billings Josh


Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Billings Josh


Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Billings Josh


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Billings Josh


In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Billings Josh


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Blake William


"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."

Blake William


One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Blake William


A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Blake William


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Blake William


A violent man will die a violent death.

Blish James


Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

Bon John Dillinger on


Man proposes, God disposes.

Bowles Colin


You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Bowles Colin


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Brilliant Ashleigh


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Brilliant Ashleigh


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Brilliant Ashleigh


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Brilliant Ashleigh


Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Broughton Philip


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Buckley William F.


...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Buckley William F.


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Burroughs William


He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Burroughs William S.


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Caesar Gaius Julius


There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Getting into trouble is easy.

Caesar Gaius Julius


As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

Caesar Julius


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Callimachus


When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Carlin George


Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Carpenter Elizabeth


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Catlin Wynn


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Channing William Ellery


The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.

Chaplin Charlie


Another day, another dollar.

Charles Darling


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Charles Darling


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Charlie Crazy


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Chevalier Maurice


Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Clarence Darrow to William


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Clifton Fadiman


Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Coo Alistair


Necessity has no law.

Cooke Alistair


Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

Cooke Alistair


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Coolidge Calvin


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Coolidge Calvin


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Coolidge Calvin


"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Coolidge Calvin


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Coolidge Calvin


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Coolidge Calvin


Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Coolidge Calvin


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Cromwell Oliver


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Dali Salvador


You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Dane Franklin K.


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Darling Charles


One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Dick Philip K.


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Dillinger John


Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Disraeli Benjamin


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Disraeli Benjamin


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Disraeli Benjamin


It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Disraeli Benjamin


The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Disraeli Benjamin


Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Disraeli Benjamin


Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Donatus Aelius


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Elder Pliny the


All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Eliot George


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Eliot George


"It's a summons." "What's a summons?" "It means summon's in trouble."

Eliot T.S.


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Eliot T.S.


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Eliot T.S.


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Eliot T.Sessay


I use not only all the brains I have, but all those I can borrow as well.

Elizabeth I


The time was the 19th of May, 1780. The place was Hartford, Connecticut. The day has gone down in New England history as a terrible foretaste of Judgement Day. For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by mid-afternoon had blackened over s

Elizabeth John Greenway


History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Elliot


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Ellis Havelock


The best you get is an even break.

Ellis Havelock


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Ellis Nancy


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Ellison Harlan


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Ellison Harlan


A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Erlich Paul


A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Fadiman Clifton


It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Fadiman Clifton


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Fadiman Clifton


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Fadiman Clifton


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Faulkner William


Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Faulkner William


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Fee Elizabeth


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Franklin B.


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Franklin B.


If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Franklin B.


One good turn deserves another.

Franklin B.


I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Franklin B.


Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.

Franklin B.


A yawn is a silent shout.

Franklin Ben


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Franklin Ben


Look before you leap.

Franklin Ben


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Franklin Benjamin


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Franklin Benjamin


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Franklin Benjamin


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Franklin Benjamin


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Franklin Benjamin


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Franklin Benjamin


What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Franklin Benjamin


Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Franklin Benjamin


Think sideways!

Franklin Benjamin


Everyone is in the best seat.

Franklin Benjamin


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

G. Gordon Liddy's


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Galilei Galileo


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Garrison William Lloyd


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Gibran Kahlil


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Gibran Kahlil


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Gibran Kahlil


Many hands make light work.

Gilliam E.A.


Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Halsey Admiral William


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hazlitt William


... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

Hellman Lillian


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Heraclitus


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Piece of cake!

Holmes Oliver Wendell


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Huntingd Collis P.


A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

James Clive


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

James William


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

James William


The streets were dark with something more than night.

Jim Starlin


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Jim Starlin


It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the instrument of h

John Lightfoot


The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Joke The Killing


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Jones Franklin P.


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Jones Franklin P.


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Jones Franklin P.


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Jones Franklin P.


They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Joplin Janis


The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Juliana Queen


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Julius Caesar


Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Kahlil Gibran


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Kipling Rudyard


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Kirk Lisa


Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Larsen Dalglish


Necessity hath no law.

LeBoutillier J.


America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

LeoGrande William


There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Leslie Stephen


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Leslie Stephen


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Lester Julius


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Li Woman's


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Li Mark Twain


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Lie Trygve


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Liebling A.J.


Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Liebling A.J.


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Liepmann Hans


I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Lilly John


Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Lincoln A.


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Lincoln Abraham


Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Lincoln Abraham


Don't vote

Lincoln Abraham


Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Lincoln Abraham


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Lincoln Abraham


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Lincoln Abraham


May you live in uninteresting times.

Lincoln Abraham


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Lincoln Abraham


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Lindbergh Charles


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Ling James J.


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Lippmann Walter


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Lippmann Walter


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Little Mary Wilson


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Little Rich


If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Save the Whales

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Let your conscience be your guide.

Machiavelli


Machiavelli Niccolo


The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Man Little Big


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Marcus Tullius Cicero


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Mari Clive James on


... indifference is a militant thing ... when it goes away it leaves smoking ruins, where lie citizens bayonetted through the throat. It is not a children's pastime like mere highway robbery.

McCarthy Charlie


Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

McCarthy Charlie


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

McCorkle Julia Norton


Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Melvin Belli


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Miller. Olin


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Moliere


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Morris William


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Moss Stirling


They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git.

North Lt. Col. Ollie


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

North Oliver


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Novem The Realist


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Oliver


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Oliver


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Orton William


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Palindromist The Mad


"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

Paul Tillich German


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Penn William


The superfluous is very necessary.

Perlis Alan J.


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Philip Hale Boston


Things are not always what they seem.

Philips Emo


I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

Phillips Emo


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Phillips Utah


Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Player Willis


We should keep the Panama Canal. After all, we stole it fair and square.

Professor English


When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

Publilius


There but for the grace of God, goes God.

Publius Ovidius Naso


... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

Publius Terentius Afer


If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.

Publius Terentius Afer


Two heads are better than one.

Publius Terentius Afer


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Publius Terentius Afer


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Publius Vergilius Maro


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Publius Vergilius Maro


The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Publius Vergilius Maro


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Publius Vergilius Maro


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Pulitzer Joseph


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Richard Little


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Rockwell George Lincoln


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Roosevelt Franklin D.


America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Roosevelt Franklin D.


In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

Roosevelt Franklin Delano


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Salinger J. D.


Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Sandra Gotlieb


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Schlafly Phyllis


I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

Secundus Gaius Plinius


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Serling Rod


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Shake William


An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in small as in great matters.

Shake William


The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Shake William


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Shake William


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Shake William


A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

Shake William


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Shake William


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Shake William


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Shake William


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Shake William


A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Shake William


Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Shakes William


Home is where the hurt is.

Shakes William


Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Shakesp William


What an artist dies with me!

Shakesp William


A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

Shakesp William


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Shakespear William


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Shakespear William


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Shakespear William


A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Shakespear William


I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

Shakespear William


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Shakespeare William


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Shakespeare William


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Shakespeare William


Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Shakespeare William


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Shakespeare William


I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Shakespeare William


An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Shakespeare William


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Shakespeare William


There's no justice in this world.

Shakespeare William


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Shakespeare William


When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Shakespeare William


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Shakespeare William


What one fool can do, another can.

Shakespeare William


Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Shakespeare William


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Shakespeare William


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Shakespeare William


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Shakespeare William


After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

Shakespeare William


Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Shaw Pygmali


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Stalin Joseph


Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

Stalin Joseph


Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Stalin Joseph


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Stalin Joseph


"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

Stephen Leslie


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Strachey Lionel


You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Syrus Publilius


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Syrus Publilius


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Syrus Publilius


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Syrus Publilius


If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Syrus Publilius


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Syrus Publilius


In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.

Syrus Publilius


I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Syrus Publilius


Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Syrus Publilius


How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Syrus Publilius


"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."

Syrus Publilius


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Syrus Publius


There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

T.S. Eliot


Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Taylor Elizabeth


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

The Outer Limits


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Tiselius Arne


There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Titus Livius


There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Tomlin Lily


An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Tomlin Lily


"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Tomlin Lily


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Tomlin Lily


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Tomlin Lily


One good turn asketh another.

Tomlin Lily


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Tomlin Lily


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Trillin Calvin


The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Trilling Lionel


We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.

Wagner Lichty &


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Walinsky Adam


Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

War Oliver


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Wellington The Duke of


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Wellington Duke


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Wells J. Wellington


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Wells J. Wellington


It's not easy, being green.

Whalen Philip


Odets, where is thy sting?

White William Allen


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

White William Allen


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Willard F. Libby


I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

William


Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

William Gibson


Fear is the greatest salesman.

William S. Paley


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

William Shakespeare


Must I hold a candle to my shames?

William Shakespeare


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

William Shakespeare


The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

William Shakespeare


It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

William Shakespeare


The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Williams H.H.


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Williams Robin


Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Williams Tennessee


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Williams Robin


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme


There is no sin but ignorance.

Williamson Nicol


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Williamson Dr. Paul


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Willie Sutton


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Yeats William Butler


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Yutang Lin


Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

proverb Italian


"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

proverb Polish





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Brooks Mel

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