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History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

Adams Franklin

"The State of California has no business subsidizing intellectual curiosity."

Adams Franklin

Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret.

Adams Franklin

In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing to us.

Ali Muhammad

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Alice Walker

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Alighieri Dante

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Alinsky Saul

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Alinsky Saul

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Alinsky Saul

Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

Alito Noelie

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Arthur Sullivan

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Attorney General William

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Aurelius Marcus

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Aurelius Sextus

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Balliett Whitney

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Barker Clive

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Ben Franklin

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Berlioz Hector

Billings Josh

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Billings Josh

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Billings Josh

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Billings Josh

Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

Billings Josh

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Billings Josh

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Billings Josh

Prizes are for children.

Blake William

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Blake William

I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

Blake William

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Blake William

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Blake William

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Blish James

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Bon John Dillinger on

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Bowles Colin

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Bowles Colin

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?

Brilliant Ashleigh

After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with th

Brilliant Ashleigh

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

Broughton Philip

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Buckley William F.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Buckley William F.

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.

Burroughs William

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

Burroughs William S.

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Caesar Gaius Julius

I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.

Caesar Gaius Julius

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Caesar Gaius Julius

A man is known by the company he organizes.

Caesar Julius

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.


The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Carlin George

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Carpenter Elizabeth

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Catlin Wynn

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

Channing William Ellery

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Chaplin Charlie

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Charles Darling

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

Charles Darling

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Charlie Crazy

I hate dying.

Chevalier Maurice

I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Practice yourself what you preach.

Clarence Darrow to William

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Clifton Fadiman

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Coo Alistair

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Cooke Alistair

I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them are trash.

Cooke Alistair

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Coolidge Calvin

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Coolidge Calvin

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Coolidge Calvin

He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.

Coolidge Calvin

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

Coolidge Calvin

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Coolidge Calvin

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Coolidge Calvin

He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.

Cromwell Oliver

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Dali Salvador

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Dane Franklin K.

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Darling Charles

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

Dick Philip K.

Save the Whales

Dillinger John

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Disraeli Benjamin

The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal.

Disraeli Benjamin

You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.

Disraeli Benjamin

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Disraeli Benjamin

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Disraeli Benjamin

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Disraeli Benjamin

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Donatus Aelius

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Elder Pliny the

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Eliot George

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Eliot George

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Eliot T.S.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Eliot T.S.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Eliot T.S.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Eliot T.Sessay

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Elizabeth I

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Elizabeth John Greenway

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.


You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.

Ellis Havelock

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Ellis Havelock

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Ellis Nancy

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

Ellison Harlan

One good turn asketh another.

Ellison Harlan

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Erlich Paul

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Fadiman Clifton

Men are superior to women.

Fadiman Clifton

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

Fadiman Clifton

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Fadiman Clifton

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Faulkner William

Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Faulkner William

The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

Fee Elizabeth

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Francisc Colin Bowles San

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Franklin B.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Franklin B.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Franklin B.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Franklin B.

Two heads are better than one.

Franklin B.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Franklin B.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Franklin Ben

When in doubt, use brute force.

Franklin Ben

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Franklin Ben

The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours.

Franklin Benjamin

When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.

Franklin Benjamin

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Franklin Benjamin

Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Franklin Benjamin

I'll defend to the death your right to say that, but I never said I'd listen to it!

Franklin Benjamin

I'll never get off this planet.

Franklin Benjamin

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Franklin Benjamin

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Franklin Benjamin

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Franklin Benjamin

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Franklin Benjamin

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

G. Gordon Liddy's

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Galilei Galileo

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Garrison William Lloyd

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Gibran Kahlil

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

Gibran Kahlil

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

Gibran Kahlil

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Gilliam E.A.

I knew one thing: as soon as anyone said you didn't need a gun, you'd better take one along that worked.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Halsey Admiral William

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Hazlitt William

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Hellman Lillian

I've found my niche. If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was this little hole in the bottom ...


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Holmes Oliver Wendell

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Huntingd Collis P.

Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soo

James Clive

Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained only by the disinclination of others to listen. Reserve is an artificial quality that is developed in most of us as the result of innumerable rebuffs.

James William

It is the business of little minds to shrink.

James William

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Jim Starlin

If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Jim Starlin

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

John Lightfoot

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Joke The Killing

Turn the other cheek.

Jones Franklin P.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Jones Franklin P.

To be or not to be.

Jones Franklin P.

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Jones Franklin P.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Joplin Janis

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Juliana Queen

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Julius Caesar

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

Kahlil Gibran

Confucius say too much.

Kipling Rudyard

No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.

Kirk Lisa

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Larsen Dalglish

I owe the public nothing.

LeBoutillier J.

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

LeoGrande William

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Leslie Stephen

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

Leslie Stephen

My brain is my second favorite organ.

Lester Julius

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Li Woman's

Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.

Li Mark Twain

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Lie Trygve

Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.

Liebling A.J.

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Liebling A.J.

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Liepmann Hans

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Lilly John

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Lincoln A.

Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political leaders.

Lincoln Abraham

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Lincoln Abraham

What we see depends on mainly what we look for.

Lincoln Abraham

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Lincoln Abraham

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Lincoln Abraham

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Lincoln Abraham

The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old. The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are. Insects have built nests in them. People hav

Lincoln Abraham

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Lincoln Abraham

Come home America.

Lindbergh Charles

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Ling James J.

The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Lippmann Walter

No good deed goes unpunished.

Lippmann Walter

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Little Mary Wilson

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Little Rich

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.


Getting into trouble is easy.

Machiavelli Niccolo

And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Man Little Big

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Mari Clive James on

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

McCarthy Charlie

Nothing succeeds like success.

McCarthy Charlie

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

McCorkle Julia Norton

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Melvin Belli

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Miller. Olin

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.


The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Morris William

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Moss Stirling

To defend the Saigon regime is not worth one more human life.

North Lt. Col. Ollie

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

North Oliver

Most of the fear that spoils our life comes from attacking difficulties before we get to them.

Novem The Realist

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.


You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Orton William

I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

Palindromist The Mad

Man is the measure of all things.

Paul Tillich German

The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

Penn William

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Perlis Alan J.

'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.

Philip Hale Boston

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Philips Emo

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Phillips Emo

Let the people think they govern and they will be governed.

Phillips Utah

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Player Willis

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Professor English

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.


There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Publius Ovidius Naso

All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

Publius Terentius Afer

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

Publius Terentius Afer

"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."

Publius Terentius Afer

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Publius Terentius Afer

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Publius Vergilius Maro

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Publius Vergilius Maro

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Publius Vergilius Maro

To have died once is enough.

Pulitzer Joseph

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Richard Little

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Rockwell George Lincoln

I hate quotations.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

I'm not the person your mother warned you about... her imagination isn't that good.

Roosevelt Franklin D.

If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

Roosevelt Franklin Delano

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Salinger J. D.

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Sandra Gotlieb

If you don't have a nasty obituary you probably didn't matter.

Schlafly Phyllis

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Secundus Gaius Plinius

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Serling Rod

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Shake William

I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people... Certainty is just an emotion.

Shake William

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Shake William

Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

Shake William

Odets, where is thy sting?

Shake William

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Shake William

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Shake William

Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names.

Shake William

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Shake William

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Shake William

Well begun is half done.

Shake William

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Shakes William

The time was the 19th of May, 1780. The place was Hartford, Connecticut. The day has gone down in New England history as a terrible foretaste of Judgement Day. For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by mid-afternoon had blackened over s

Shakes William

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Shakesp William

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Shakesp William

What fools these mortals be.

Shakesp William

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Shakespear William

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Shakespear William

We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Shakespear William

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

Shakespear William

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Shakespear William

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

Shakespeare William

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war and they are screened at onc

Shakespeare William

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Shakespeare William

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Shakespeare William

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Shakespeare William

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Shakespeare William

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Shakespeare William

Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.

Shakespeare William

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Shakespeare William

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Shakespeare William

I have often looked at women and committed adultery in my heart.

Shakespeare William

"Lemme show ya the odds, Sparky... In yer country, ya got 14 million black people, and 3 million white people. Now, does the name `Custer' mean anything to you?"

Shakespeare William

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Shakespeare William

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Shakespeare William

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Shakespeare William

Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.

Shakespeare William

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Shakespeare William

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Shakespeare William

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Shaw Pygmali

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

Stalin Joseph

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Stalin Joseph

I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern, any adequate account of that nature with which I am acquainted. Mythology comes nearest to it of any.

Stalin Joseph

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Stalin Joseph

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Stephen Leslie

Well, I'm disenchanted too. We're all disenchanted.

Strachey Lionel

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Syrus Publilius

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Syrus Publilius

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Syrus Publilius

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Syrus Publilius

The best you get is an even break.

Syrus Publilius

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Syrus Publilius

In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of the matter about which he is to speak?

Syrus Publilius

I go the way that Providence dictates.

Syrus Publilius

There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.

Syrus Publilius

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

Syrus Publilius

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Syrus Publilius

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.

Syrus Publius

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

T.S. Eliot

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Taylor Elizabeth

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

The Outer Limits

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Tiselius Arne

Most people in this society who aren't actively mad are, at best, reformed or potential lunatics.

Titus Livius

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Tomlin Lily

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Tomlin Lily

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Tomlin Lily

Oh this age! How tasteless and ill-bred it is.

Tomlin Lily

Shame is an improper emotion invented by pietists to oppress the human race.

Tomlin Lily

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Tomlin Lily

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Tomlin Lily

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Trillin Calvin

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Trilling Lionel

Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? 2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow. 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something l

Wagner Lichty &

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Walinsky Adam

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

War Oliver

Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Wellington The Duke of

The thought of being President frightens me and I do not think I want the job.

Wellington Duke

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Wells J. Wellington

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Wells J. Wellington

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Whalen Philip

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

White William Allen

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

White William Allen

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Willard F. Libby

A man's house is his castle.


Set the cart before the horse.

William Gibson

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

William S. Paley

Nobody shot me.

William Shakespeare

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

William Shakespeare

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

William Shakespeare

Rule the Empire through force.

William Shakespeare

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

William Shakespeare

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Williams H.H.

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Williams Robin

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

Williams Tennessee

Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires us with dread and fear,

Williams Robin

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Williamson Nicol

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Williamson Dr. Paul

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Willie Sutton

A witty saying proves nothing.

Yeats William Butler

The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Yutang Lin

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Zwart Elizabeth Clarkson

The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.

proverb Italian

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

proverb Polish

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You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m. anyway.
Wurster Hall

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