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"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Englan Mark Twain on New


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Li Mark Twain


Genius is pain.

Mark Twain


"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Mark Twain


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Mark Twain


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Mark Twain


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Mark Twain


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Mark Twain


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Mark Twain


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Mark Twain


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Mark Twain


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Mark Twain


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Twain Mark


We are what we pretend to be.

Twain Mark


Twain Mark


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Twain Mark


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Twain Mark


Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Twain Mark


He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Twain Mark


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Twain Mark


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Twain Mark


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Twain Mark


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Twain Mark


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Twain Mark


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Twain Mark


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Twain Mark


XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Twain Mark


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Twain Mark


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Twain Mark


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Twain Mark


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Twain Mark


Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Twain Mark


Small is beautiful.

Twain Mark


I hate dying.

Twain Mark


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Twain Mark


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Twain Mark


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Twain Mark


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Twain Mark


The world wants to be deceived.

Twain Mark


One good turn deserves another.

Twain Mark


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Twain Mark


A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Twain Mark


If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Twain Mark


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Twain Mark


Knowledge is power.

Twain Mark


What one fool can do, another can.

Twain Mark


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Twain Mark


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Twain Mark


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Twain Mark


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Twain Mark


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Twain Mark


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Twain Mark


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Twain Mark


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Twain Mark


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Twain Mark


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Twain Mark


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Twain Mark


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Twain Mark


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Twain Mark


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Twain Mark


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Twain Mark


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Twain Mark


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Twain Mark


In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Twain Mark


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Twain Mark


Too much of everything is just enough.

Twain Mark


Rome was not built in one day.

Twain Mark


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Twain Mark


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Twain Mark


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Twain Mark


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Twain Mark


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Twain Mark


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Twain Mark


Many hands make light work.

Twain Mark


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Twain Mark


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Twain Mark


Don't get mad, get even.

Twain Mark


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Twain Mark


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Twain Mark


I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Twain Mark


A witty saying proves nothing.

Twain Mark


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Twain Mark


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Twain Mark


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Twain Mark


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Twain Mark


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Twain Mark


Business will be either better or worse.

Twain Mark


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Twain Mark


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Twain Mark


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Twain Mark


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Twain Mark


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Twain Mark


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Twain Mark


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Twain Mark


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Twain Mark





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