Big book, big bore.

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Every why hath a wherefore.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

To add insult to injury.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

To have died once is enough.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Littering is dumb.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

General notions are generally wrong.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

We're only in it for the volume.

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Who's scruffy-looking?

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

If there is no wind, row.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Honesty's the best policy.

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.