Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little... The trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty [...] I do not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman... not enough to support a man and fiv

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.