There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

God is Dead.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.