Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.