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It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Mencken H.L.


Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Mencken H.L.


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Mencken H.L.


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Mencken H.L.


question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Mencken H.L.


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Mencken H.L.


Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Mencken H.L.


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Mencken H.L.


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Mencken H.L.


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Mencken H.L.


Nothing succeeds like success.

Mencken H.L.


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Mencken H.L.


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Mencken H.L.


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Mencken H.L.


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Mencken H.L.


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Mencken H.L.


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Mencken H.L.


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Mencken H.L.





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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Twain Mark

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Mencken H.L
 
 
 
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