All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or wha

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.