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Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Mencken H.L.


Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Mencken H.L.


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Mencken H.L.


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Mencken H.L.


Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Mencken H.L.


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Mencken H.L.


It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Mencken H.L.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Mencken H.L.


Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.

Mencken H.L.


Every why hath a wherefore.

Mencken H.L.


... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Mencken H.L.


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Mencken H.L.


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Mencken H.L.


"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Mencken H.L.


Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Mencken H.L.


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Mencken H.L.


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Mencken H.L.


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Mencken H.L.





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It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.
Plutarch

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Mencken H.L.
 
 
 
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