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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Mencken H.L.


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Mencken H.L.


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Mencken H.L.


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Mencken H.L.


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Mencken H.L.


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Mencken H.L.


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Mencken H.L.


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Mencken H.L.


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Mencken H.L.


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Mencken H.L.


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Mencken H.L.


The best you get is an even break.

Mencken H.L.


Think sideways!

Mencken H.L.


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Mencken H.L.


A place for everything and everything in its place.

Mencken H.L.


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Mencken H.L.


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Mencken H.L.


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Mencken H.L.





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The fact that it works is immaterial.
Ogborn L.

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Mencken H.L.
 
 
 
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