Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Many a man that can't direct you to a corner drugstore will get a respectful hearing when age has further impaired his mind.

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.

To have died once is enough.

You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now.

Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.