"The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to ________preserve disorder."

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

We have no scorched earth policy. We have a policy of scorched Communists.

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Rule the Empire through force.