Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Let your conscience be your guide.

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

A dead man cannot bite.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.