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I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Cromwell Oliver

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

The streets were dark with something more than night.

North Oliver

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!


Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

War Oliver

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"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."
Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

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