If you want divine justice, die.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Nothing endures but change.

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

None love the bearer of bad news.

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Why be a man when you can be a success?

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Set the cart before the horse.

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

May you live in uninteresting times.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Go away, I'm all right.

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.