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NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

Oscar Wilde


The optimum committee has no members.

Oscar Wilde


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Wilde Oscar


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Wilde Oscar


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Wilde Oscar


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Wilde Oscar


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Wilde Oscar


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Wilde Oscar


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Wilde Oscar


Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.

Wilde Oscar


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Wilde Oscar


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Wilde Oscar


Man proposes, God disposes.

Wilde Oscar


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Wilde Oscar


What you see is from outside yourself, and may come, or not, but is beyond your control. But your fear is yours, and yours alone, like your voice, or your fingers, or your memory, and therefore yours to control. If you feel powerless over your fear

Wilde Oscar


Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Wilde Oscar


"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

Wilde Oscar


If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

Wilde Oscar


"... I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses ..."

Wilde Oscar


The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

Wilde Oscar


If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow. I just couldn't help myself.

Wilde Oscar


If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Wilde Oscar


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Wilde Oscar


Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Wilde Oscar


Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Wilde Oscar


I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.

Wilde Oscar


I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern. I realize that the whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we can be free to concern ourselves wi

Wilde Oscar


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Wilde Oscar


If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.

Wilde Oscar


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Wilde Oscar


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Wilde Oscar


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Wilde Oscar


[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Wilde Oscar


I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern, any adequate account of that nature with which I am acquainted. Mythology comes nearest to it of any.

Wilde Oscar


Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Wilde Oscar


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Wilde Oscar


When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Wilde Oscar


Honesty's the best policy.

Wilde Oscar


Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will never succeed.

Wilde Oscar





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An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
Ford Henry

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Oscar Wilde
 
 
 
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