There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Let me take you a button-hole lower.

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Look before you leap.

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

A snake lurks in the grass.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

It's not easy, being green.

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.