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"Plaese porrf raed."

Oscar Wilde


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Oscar Wilde


No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Wilde Oscar


Housework can kill you if done right.

Wilde Oscar


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Wilde Oscar


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Wilde Oscar


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Wilde Oscar


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Wilde Oscar


Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Wilde Oscar


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Wilde Oscar


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Wilde Oscar


Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Wilde Oscar


The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Wilde Oscar


Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Wilde Oscar


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Wilde Oscar


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Wilde Oscar


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Wilde Oscar


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Wilde Oscar


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Wilde Oscar


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Wilde Oscar


In my end is my beginning.

Wilde Oscar


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Wilde Oscar


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Wilde Oscar


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Wilde Oscar


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Wilde Oscar


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Wilde Oscar


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Wilde Oscar


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Wilde Oscar


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Wilde Oscar


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Wilde Oscar


All is well that ends well.

Wilde Oscar


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Wilde Oscar


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Wilde Oscar


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Wilde Oscar


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Wilde Oscar


I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Wilde Oscar


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Wilde Oscar


Odets, where is thy sting?

Wilde Oscar


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Wilde Oscar





Random Quote


That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.
Heine

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Oscar Wilde
 
 
 
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