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If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Oscar Wilde


...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Oscar Wilde


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Wilde Oscar


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Wilde Oscar


God helps them that help themselves.

Wilde Oscar


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Wilde Oscar


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Wilde Oscar


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Wilde Oscar


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Wilde Oscar


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Wilde Oscar


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Wilde Oscar


I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Wilde Oscar


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Wilde Oscar


The man who runs may fight again.

Wilde Oscar


The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Wilde Oscar


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Wilde Oscar


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Wilde Oscar


There's no justice in this world.

Wilde Oscar


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Wilde Oscar


Necessity has no law.

Wilde Oscar


Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Wilde Oscar


Imagine what we can imagine!

Wilde Oscar


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Wilde Oscar


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Wilde Oscar


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Wilde Oscar


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Wilde Oscar


Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Wilde Oscar


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Wilde Oscar


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Wilde Oscar


May you live in uninteresting times.

Wilde Oscar


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Wilde Oscar


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Wilde Oscar


The best you get is an even break.

Wilde Oscar


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Wilde Oscar


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Wilde Oscar


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Wilde Oscar


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Wilde Oscar


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Wilde Oscar


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Wilde Oscar





Random Quote


The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
Haig Alexander

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Oscar Wilde
 
 
 
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