"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex." (Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)

With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Neckties strangle clear thinking.