American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Two heads are better than one.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.