I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.