The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Don't get mad, get even.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

There is no sin but ignorance.

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Littering is dumb.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Genius is pain.

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Think sideways!