As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

There is no sin but ignorance.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."

For a light heart lives long.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

The goys have proven the following theorem...

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

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