The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

It is better to have loved and lost

You guys have been practicing discrimination for years. Now it's our turn.

I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

Men will fuck mud.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

It's better to be quotable than to be honest.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

Love the sea? I dote upon it

"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

We are what we pretend to be.

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.