The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

They're giving bank robbing a bad name.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

God help those who do not help themselves.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

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A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

If there is no wind, row.

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground