Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Housework can kill you if done right.

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

To do two things at once is to do neither.

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Personifiers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

... relaxed in the manner of a man who has no need to put up a front of any kind.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

They also serve who only stand and wait.

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Every country has the government it deserves.

A violent man will die a violent death.

You're never too old to become younger.

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?