In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... se

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

The better part of valor is discretion.

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

The optimum committee has no members.

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible carpenter.

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then do what's best.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

What!? Me worry?

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.