I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Nothing succeeds like excess.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Nothing succeeds like success.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.