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"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Rogers The Best of Will


Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Rogers The Best of Will


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Rogers The Best of Will


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Rogers The Best of Will


It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.

Rogers The Best of Will


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Rogers The Best of Will


A witty saying proves nothing.

Rogers The Best of Will


There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Rogers The Best of Will


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Rogers Will


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Rogers Will


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Rogers Will


This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

Rogers Will


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Rogers Will


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Rogers Will


What fools these mortals be.

Rogers Will


Justice is incidental to law and order.

Rogers Will


Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Rogers Will


It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.

Rogers Will


The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Rogers Will


A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

Rogers Will


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Rogers Will





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I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo
Twain Mark

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Rogers Will
 
 
 
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