"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

A witty saying proves nothing.

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

This night methinks is but the daylight sick.

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

What fools these mortals be.

Justice is incidental to law and order.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.