"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

You can't play your friends like marks, kid.