Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.