There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

... whether it is better to spend a life not knowing what you want or to spend a life knowing exactly what you want and that you will never have it.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Success is in the minds of Fools.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

"If we relied conclusively on scientific data for every one of our findings, I'm afraid all of our work would be inconclusive."

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

He hadn't a single redeeming vice.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.