It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

What is involved in such [close] relationships is a form of emotional chemistry, so far unexplained by any school of psychiatry I am aware of, that conditions nothing so simple as a choice between the poles of attraction and repulsion. You can meet

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old. The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are. Insects have built nests in them. People hav

Littering is dumb.

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

I knew her before she was a virgin.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Odets, where is thy sting?

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

It seems appropriate to me that Mapplethorpe's perverse images should be situated so close to Congress, which perpetuates a number of unnatural acts upon the body politic every day, without benefit of artificial lubrication or foreplay.

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.

of the time.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

To defend the Saigon regime is not worth one more human life.

The broad mass of a nation... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.