Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Patch griefs with proverbs.

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Faith is under the left nipple.

Tempt not a desperate man.

If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Harp not on that string.

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

God is Dead.

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

In the long run we are all dead.

A man's house is his castle.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.