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What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
 Shake William
The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex,
no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.
 Shake William
It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of
indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury
is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim
of infanticide.
 Shake William
Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that
nobody else wants.
 Shake William
I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I
don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
the food cheaper, and old men Shake William
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
 Shake William
There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.
 Shake William
Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.
 Shake William
My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him
in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was
Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.
 Shake William
Flame on!
 Shake William
Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.
 Shake William
Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping
the top of the barrel.
 Shakes William
A man is known by the company he organizes.
 Shakes William
If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three
years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law
school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.
 Shakesp William
"There is a God, but He drinks"
 Shakesp William
What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?
 Shakesp William
A place for everything and everything in its place.
 Shakespear William
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't
they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning
anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five
years we would have the smartest r Shakespear William
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
 Shakespear William
I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I
don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
the food cheaper, and old men Shakespear William
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York
City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to
Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."
 Shakespear William
The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds
is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been
more like fourteen.
 Shakespeare
William
If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.
 Shakespeare William
If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president
of Harvard.
 Shakespeare William
He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.
 Shakespeare William
All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
 Shakespeare William
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
 Shakespeare William
It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east
laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The
thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle,
nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r Shakespeare William
Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they
had towels from my house.
 Shakespeare William
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
 Shakespeare William
In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.
 Shakespeare William
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
 Shakespeare William
You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are.
If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
 Shakespeare William
For courage mounteth with occasion.
 Shakespeare William
When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.
 Shakespeare William
Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade
themselves that they have a better idea.
 Shakespeare William
Texas is Hell on woman and horses.
 Shakespeare William
Grig (the navigator):
... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space
armada.
Alex (the gunner):
What?!?
Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against
overwhelming odds.
Alex: It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That' Shakespeare William
Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and
basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley
is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.
 Shakespeare William
If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.
 William Shakespeare
Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell
for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group
as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first
group and lost all the friends  William Shakespeare
Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when
you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.
 William Shakespeare
Look before you leap.
 William Shakespeare
Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with
little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
 William Shakespeare
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Random Quote
I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.
 Fratianno
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