I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

The streets were dark with something more than night.

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

per year.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Never buy from a rich salesman.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

One big pile is better than two little piles.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Necessity hath no law.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."