The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Fear is the greatest salesman.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Nice guys finish last.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?