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Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Shakes William


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Shakes William


Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Shakesp William


America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Shakesp William


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Shakesp William


Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Shakespear William


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Shakespear William


Small is beautiful.

Shakespear William


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Shakespear William


When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Shakespear William


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Shakespeare William


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Shakespeare William


Leave no stone unturned.

Shakespeare William


Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Shakespeare William


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Shakespeare William


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Shakespeare William


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Shakespeare William


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Shakespeare William


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Shakespeare William


I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Shakespeare William


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Shakespeare William


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Shakespeare William


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Shakespeare William


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Shakespeare William


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Shakespeare William


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Shakespeare William


"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Shakespeare William


Anything is possible on paper.

Shakespeare William


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

William Shakespeare


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

William Shakespeare


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

William Shakespeare


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

William Shakespeare


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

William Shakespeare





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If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.
Nesbit Petersen

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Shakes William
 
 
 
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