Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Art is a jealous mistress.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Think sideways!

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Business will be either better or worse.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Man is the measure of all things.

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Look ere ye leap.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.