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One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Shakes William


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Shakes William


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Shakesp William


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Shakesp William


It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Shakesp William


All art is but imitation of nature.

Shakespear William


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Shakespear William


When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Shakespear William


So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Shakespear William


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Shakespear William


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Shakespeare William


All Gods were immortal.

Shakespeare William


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Shakespeare William


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Shakespeare William


God is Dead.

Shakespeare William


"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Shakespeare William


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Shakespeare William


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Shakespeare William


Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

Shakespeare William


You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Shakespeare William


"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."

Shakespeare William


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Shakespeare William


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Shakespeare William


Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Shakespeare William


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Shakespeare William


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Shakespeare William


"It don't matter, Sail, ... Could be worse. The fam'ly might be donatin' the proceeds to the Cath'lic Church, or the Mormons or somethin'. One cult's the same another."

Shakespeare William


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Shakespeare William


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

William Shakespeare


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

William Shakespeare


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

William Shakespeare


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

William Shakespeare


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

William Shakespeare





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Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.
Wilde Oscar

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Shakes William
 
 
 
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